happy days seem so far away...

the past.

2009-01-24T12:25:00.002+08:00

hello past.
i haven't been here in a while.
try as i may, i can't remember what i was like when i was younger.
things change, people change, and so have i.

but past,
thanks for teaching me so much.
i appreciate all the setbacks i've faced.
and i'll learn from all my mistakes.

dear past,
i used to find it difficult to face you.
but sometimes i really want to return to those times.
least i know that everything would be okay.

so past,
i have one last favour to ask of you.
teach me how to face the future.
so i'll be able to face it when it becomes my past.

closure

2008-12-27T22:20:00.002+08:00

some things are better said face-to-face.

but i doubt we'll have the chance to talk that way again.

i don't know if you'll ever read this, honestly.

still, i'm sorry for the hurt i've caused, i really am.

and i hope you'll be happy.

book wishlist!

2008-12-25T11:19:00.004+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :D

let's not forget what's really important today :)

...

apart from that, i'm here to compile a list of books i'd like to buy.

no, i'm not being thick-skinned and asking people to get them for me, so don't. haha.

Singapore: The Air-Conditioned Nation
The Purpose of Christmas; Rick Warren
God Is Dead; JR., Ron Currie (no, it's not a book slamming Christianity. if it was i wouldn't touch it. but it should make quite an interesting literature read)
Panda Diaries; Alex Kuo
And Then There Were None; Agatha Christie (i've read this before, but it's such a good book i have to own it.)

well, that's it for now. will be haunting Kino soon looking for good books. they seem to have clarinet scores as well. should go look for some. heh.

ABEL! :)

hee, they're so cute together :D

Ziying and Fionna with Pooh and Piglet :D

Patrina, Ziying, Fionna, me, Pooh and Piglet.

attempting to be nerds, but they're too cute for that :D

Patrina, Ziying and Fionna. wanted to run over to take the picture with them but it was a tad too far. heh.

Clarissa, Ziying, Patrina and Fionna. almost all the peanuts, we're just missing Jamie. sigh.

MS LEONG me and Pan-E. gosh i hate flash >_<

China pictures part one!

2008-11-06T13:32:00.000+08:00

random-ness :D

2008-10-20T20:32:00.003+08:00

here to be random!

aww, panda looks sad.

haha, SO CUTE! :D

by the way, this dear little panda is panda, the SCGS clarinet section mascot.

she's adorable, isn't she :)

cutest MV ever :D

2008-10-13T17:51:00.003+08:00

people, i assure you, this is one of the cutest MVs i've ever watched.

it's 开天窗 by 五月天, and i love the song!

i love the mascots too :D

it's an awesome song, listen to it people! :D

later, toony

it's been a while.

2008-09-16T16:37:00.002+08:00

hellos.

just here to provide some life in this dying blog.

-pokes pokes-

...

i've been quite okay recently. and i'll just keep getting better :)

...

this is super cute.

2008-08-16T21:37:00.002+08:00

it's late, but i'm sorry.

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

you deserve to smile too.

i don't need forgiveness, and i don't wish to have communications resumed.

i just need you to know this.

pictures!!

2008-08-09T23:03:00.006+08:00

pictures!

missing.

2008-08-09T00:14:00.001+08:00

I'M GOING TO MISS THE SEC FOURS SO MUCH!!!

AND MY SECTION TOO!!

AND SHU E AND SHAWN!!

yay-ness.

2008-07-31T20:21:00.002+08:00

guess i'll leave one last sentence for someone, whether or not you're reading this.

you're pathetic.

goodbye.

paiseh people!

2008-07-30T14:48:00.002+08:00

hey everyone!

i'm really sorry for all this,

but i've lost all motivation to blog here.

yup.

i'm moving kay!

come straight to me for the URL.

and and and if you want me to link you, leave a message kays! :D

bye! :D

amusing.

2008-07-29T20:59:00.002+08:00

amusing much.

i dreamt of my YPSB section last night.

haha :D

Mr Shuichi Komiyama is the funniest conductor i've seen in a while.

he's great, honestly.

he said that if we blog about him, we have to include the way he taught us to say HAI! where we should.

HAI!

haha :D

later, toony

sudden urge.

2008-07-27T18:31:00.003+08:00

i just had a sudden urge to post this.

see, my MSN message is i love being a clarinettist(:

and i just kept staring at it.

and i realised

that i just love being in YPSB

that i just love being in band

that i just love being in my class

that i just love being in my family

that i just love being alive.

in short,

i just love being me :)

later, toony

YPSB

2008-07-27T13:53:00.002+08:00

honestly,

i love being in wind ensemble.

there are quite a good deal of NY people, but still...

we had fun on Saturday.

and we had fun together :)

awesome-ness :D

later, toony

P.S. since my tagboard ain't cooperating, i'll reply tags here from now on :D

to Charmaine: HELLO! haha, come back for Teacher's Day kay? :D

to EMILY: use ctrl c and ctrl v lah... haha :D

to Yu Ying: you used it for your pure lit O levels? it sucks... :(

whee :D

Lang Arts question

2008-07-22T20:44:00.003+08:00

despite the mundane title, i shall keep this post as alive as possible! :D

yes, i know you guys want the answers, so just repeat after me.

PANDAS.............................................

RULE...................................................

did you repeat after me?

haha whatever, i'm being stupid :D

answers ahoy!

~~~

Pg 184, Qn D: “He’s coming madam … tainted in’s wits.”
How does Maria speaks these lines?

Trying to hold back her laughter à knows that Malvolio appears foolish and dumb because she was one of the people to set him up.
May therefore sound constipated (because she is trying to hold back her laughter)
Trying to put on a straight face à deceive Olivia

Pg 184, Qn E: “Sweet lady, ho, ho!”
How does Malvolio enter? How is he dressed? What gestures does he make and how does he deliver this greeting?

Kneels down in front of Olivia, hands stretched apart à looks as though he is beholding Olivia (perverted, drunk à indulging in love)
Wearing green long-sleeved shirt with suspenders, with red/pink shorts, yellow socks/stockings
Dramatic gestures à hold rose between his teeth, give it to Olivia and starts to dance suddenly
Voice: desperate, excited, uncontrollable, hyper-ventilating
Looks at Olivia with big, bulging eyes

Pg 184, Qn F: “this cross-gartering … a servant still.”
i) List all the deliberate references Malvolio makes to the letter he found in the garden between lines 21-56. Why does he do this?

· Hint to Olivia that he received the letter à Malvolio thinks it’s a secret between him and Olivia.
· Malvolio is proud that he is wearing cross-gartering as according to the letter
· Catch Olivia’s attention so that she doesn’t miss the significance

ii) What is ironic about the effect these references have on Olivia?

Malvolio think s Olivia likes him smiling radiantly, wearing cross-gartering, being bold, but on the contrary, Olivia is not comfortable with the things he is doing and wearing.
Malvolio appears to be a Puritan and disliked all ideas of merry-making but when her found the letter, he instantly changed his belief and follows what “Olivia” asks him to do.

Pg 188, Qn G: “Good Maria … half of my dowry.”
i) What does Olivia’s reaction to Malvolio’s behaviour tell us both about her own character and her regard for Malvolio?

· Shows that Olivia is a very kind person à although Malvolio is only an employee, she gives instructions that Malvolio be cared for, citing Sir Toby as a possible caregiver; suggests that money is not an obstacle to Malvolio’s treatment
· Olivia only cares for Malvolio (superficially), exactly what she does to all other servants

ii) What is ironic about the instructions Olivia gives to safeguard Malvolio’s welfare?

· Olivia’s kindness serves only to convince Malvolio that Olivia is in love with him
· Malvolio misinterprets Olivia’s concern

Pg 188, Qn I: “O ho! … he is to be thanked.”
i) How does Malvolio twist Olivia’s words to suit his own inclinations?

· Keeps citing evidence from the letter that he is Olivia’s beloved
· Finds hidden messages in Olivia’s words for example, he thinks that asking Sir Toby to be his caregiver is to allow Malvolio to work on being an arrogant aristocrat. He also read too much into it when Olivia addresses Malvolio as “fellow”, which makes Malvolio think that Olivia treats him as social equal rather than a servant, thinking of him as her future husband

ii) What does this speech tell us about Malvolio’s character?

Shows that Malvolio thinks very highly of himself à egocentric and self-indulgent

Pg 192, Qn K: “Go, hang yourselves all. … You shall know more hereafter.”
i) What is Malvolio’s tone here? How does this speech reveal his ‘true colours”?

· Tone – arrogant à thinks he is superior than Maria, Sir Toby and Fabian
· Insults Maria, Sir Toby and Fabian, saying that they are of a different element than him à he believes he belongs to a higher order of creation or stratum of society
· Teases Maria, Sir Toby and Fabian à saying that they will learn more about his true worth in the future

ii) “You shall know more hereafter.” Comment on the dramatic irony here.

Malvolio thinks that no one knows of the letter other than him and Olivia
Believes that Olivia likes him a lot and one day, they will marry
Malvolio then tells Maria, Sir Toby and Fabian that one day they will find out how much does Malvolio mean to Olivia (which he assumes to be deep)
Thinks that Maria, Sir Toby and Fabian do not know but in actual fact, they were the ones to cast a trick on Malvolio.

~~~

so have you copied down the answers?

hope so!

see you in class tomorrow! :D

...

P.S. i won't be updating for a while, just so that people can read this. i'm so nice right ;)

enough.

2008-07-17T21:18:00.002+08:00

i can't find the tab to type in Chinese, so i think i should just blog happy.

if you want me as a friend back, i'm just a seat to your left.

...

i got 35 1/2 for Chinese! :D

haha, then again, it was beyond simple, so yeah...

had sectionals with Ms Leong! and Sophia's going to get repaired :D

i'm a happy girl today :D

...

i'll be fine after a little cry. i'm a strong girl after all! :D

thanks Emilys :)

later, toony

spare me.

2008-07-15T20:05:00.002+08:00

i really can't take anymore of this.

i'm not like you. i can't surpress much.

...

i really wish school was over.

there's so much about school i'm really want to run away from.

gosh, i really really hate all this.

...

it's my fault.

i'm sorry Sophia! i didn't mean to...

please get well soon!

...

so now i'm playing for wind ensemble AND symphonic band?

what fun. more new friends! :D

later, toony

mans :(

2008-07-14T16:17:00.001+08:00

i can't stand these scrollbars.

so i'm changing my template over the weekends.

that's sad...

i like this skin :(

funny how things work.

2008-07-13T15:58:00.003+08:00

i've got a new friend. her name is Jenny, and i can tell her absolutely everything.

of course, it helps that she's a notebook.

...

WAHAHA THAT WAS SO RANDOM! :D

...

it's funny... i'm enjoying YPSB.

maybe it's cos my section really rocks, just that everyone's quite shy. the SL (if you're reading this, please tell me your name, i couldn't hear you the last time) was playing with his Tigger and he said he looked like a toot, yet still continued playing with his Tigger.

and they remember me as the girl with the panda! :D

haha, first time i asked a guy for his number. he must have been quite stunned. Ms Leong was quite stunned when she heard that i actually asked him haha :D

anyways, Havendance is quite fun! i really should practice more though.

just heard Children's March. at about 4:20... it's like. whoa. i mean, listen to it for yourself.

yay-ness. playing makes me happy again :)

...

life has a funny way of balancing itself out :)

later, toony

Taiwan exchange

2008-07-06T16:54:00.002+08:00

happy birthday Rachel! :D

don't torture pandas kay? ;)

...

had Taiwan exchange yesterday. haha, our section had only one guy. poor guy got laughed at quite a lot :D

i think they're all quite nice leh! and they're so amusing, like the tomboy-ish trumpeter, and the drumset player (those two are SO DAMN GOOD). really wish the exchange could have lasted longer :(

i was sitting right in front of the drumset during the combined pieces. almost died lah, my poor ears, especially during Latin Gold. i specifically told the drummer to play softer and he played superbly well, could feel the beat go right through my body.

and after the piece when i turned around to look at him he was like "抱歉"

-.-

~~haha Celeste is going crazy over him man.~~

their malleter is SUPER GOOD! he can do double malleting! and the timpani player too. @_@

well, i think they had super loads of fun playing, and i personally had loads of fun playing with them :D

...

few things to mention...

YPSB's actually quite fun. the wind ensemble clarinet section rocks :D

and my sister's so retarded and random. her friends didn't believe that i'm her sister when we went for PassionAC together. and her friends are quite amusing :D

i screwed up science test. i screwed up lang arts too :D

but i just cannot accept your comment when you said that i wasn't prepared for lang arts test. just screw off and stop pretending like you know me very well.

finally saw Ms Leong! wahaha she has the cutest stuff ever :D

haha, i keep dreaming of Germany! and of all the exchanges and stuff... time of your life man! :D

...

haha, i'm glad i'm able to laugh and smile at the bad feelings that are stuck in me.

haha, i miss everything so much!

but at least... at least i got to experience it all :)

later, toony

wha-

2008-06-30T15:42:00.002+08:00

don't scold others for what i did wrong.

you know better than that :)

...

choir concert rocked.

putting it bluntly, i wanna perform the way they did. playing from the bottom of my heart, being happy to do it.

great job :D

...

i'm kinda losing track of myself.

...

kindly do not disturb Lee Wei for the next few days be it through homework, MSN or SMS. she needs to focus and therefore may or may not be blogging (depending on her mood) for the next few days until she gets back on track. she may not be in the mood to go down to the canteen for recess either, so please do not gesture for her to follow you to the canteen for recess. furthermore, if there is anything that you want to scold or talk to her about, this would be the best time to do it, so go ahead and just talk kay? :)

Lee Wei's currently out, i'm trying to get her to come back soon. she'll be back soon, so don't give up on her kay? for now, just leave a message after the tone.

-beep-

it was...

2008-06-26T21:31:00.002+08:00

guess that's what friends do. wake each other up without knowing it.

thanks :)

and i'm sorry.

you don't know. at all.

2008-06-24T20:50:00.002+08:00

you don't know just how much i miss it all.

so you know what we're going through? do you feel what we're feeling? can you?

...

i never used to feel sad after practice. practice was just about the only thing that cheered me up.

do you understand how it feels like when the thing that once made you happy now makes you sad?

...

suddenly, overwhelmingly tired.

i miss Germany.

later, toony

Germany part 2

2008-06-21T17:24:00.002+08:00

as Rui Jia was so kind to remind me, Rui Jia and i were the most responsible PAs the teachers ever had. we were PAs on the 13th, in Berlin, and we were specially chosen to be PAs again at the airport :D

Rui Jia asked an interesting question at the airport: "will we be PAs again tomorrow?"

yeah man :D

...

forgot about Mr Lim's birthday celebrations!

we were in Cologne, going back after the cathedral and all. it was Mr Lim's birthday so we planned something special, naturally. Mei Yin, Terri and me went up to get Mr Lim to come down, and Carolyn was supposed to blindfold him while we all restrain him. well, blindfolding part wasn't very successful cos Mr Lim's so much stronger than us all, so Ms Lin and Mrs Tang came out to persuade him to be blindfolded. we used Chloe's jacket haha :D

well, he went in, Tricia had toothpaste and all ready, and she just put loads of it on Mr Lim's head. then then then he made it all soapy and wiped his hair with Chloe's jacket. he let us smear lip gloss on him too haha :D

then he started chasing people around and smearing toothpaste over them too. Ms Lin put some on me, which i returned to Mr Lim :D

cake was rather nice, party was fun, hope Mr Lim had a happy birthday even though he was away from his family :)

had an exchange with Munich International on Tuesday. well, i understood something during Social Studies. but the kids were really quite amusing.

"are there any questions about the first page?"

"yes. why did i get it wrong?"

and the funny theory about aliens helping humans construct stuff like the pyramids in Egypt. yeah. one of the best lessons we've attended, cos it's understandable, and not boring. yay :D

no offence.

the museum was quite cool! especially the musical instruments section. the ancient clarinets are waay beyond ancient. like way. and even the reeds have evolved! awesome :D

Maik was waaay crazy on the ride. he was doing flips here and there, 180, 270, 360 etc. crazy person! but we were cheering him like a lot. i think he got bored halfway... and he said it wasn't all that high. wow.

went on the ride before Maik. it truely was awesome man, felt like i was going to hit the tree, and i was so scared Julia's hairband would fly off! haha :D

wind in your face, hair flying everywhere... awesome stuff :D

we went shopping! MAN it was the funnest shopping yet! i spent way less than what i had hoped for, and i really regret not buying myself a nice skirt and that bag. wells, i got nice flats and many nice ~~gay~~ presents. just ask Peiwen! :D

but really, it was the first time i had truly let loose and shopped without a care. i think i'll go crazy with shopping in Singapore next time i get the chance X)

dinner was so fun and eventful! Esther's, Sammie's, Hui Qi's, Tricia's and Brenda's table treated the teachers, Mrs Tang AND Maik to ice-cream in Donald Duck cups. and, on Mrs Tang's request, they helped get the entertainer to come make music and play a thank you song for good old Maik. i hope he enjoyed himself :D

the whole table posed for pictures with the cups on their heads LOL. Mr Lim gave me a pink Smartie cos of my pink jacket. then he gave me two more pink ones. then everyone at my table (Marian, Chloe, Zahira and Kelly) asked for smarties too. THEN we ordered our own Donald Ducks cos the teachers treated us to dessert :D

decided not to go to the beer garden cos i was seriously knocked out. took the tram back (the ticket thing really IS quite cool :D) and Rui Jia was so interested in the stamping thingy. funny person :D

took a picture with Maik that night. i was jumping up and down cos he was so tall and the camera might not get my face next to his, so he bent down. like a lot. great man :D

next morning... did a quick last minute pack and threw everything into my suitcase. went down for breakfast and had just chocolate cereal (COS THEY DIDN'T SERVE CROISSANTS! if that's how you spell it. yeah.) with milk and some very chocolatey hot chocolate which Rui Jia and i made together. being PAs, Rui Jia and i collected tips and counted them on Celeste's bed.

when i got up my head hit the frame of the double decker bed. like HIT it. then i started laughing. haha.

pulled my stuff down and lugged it to the bus. good old Maik loaded it on for us, and we got onto the bus. shouted good morning to Maik from the back of the bus as usual for the last time and sat down on the bus for the last time.

seat 39. i remember.

"DON'T GO SO FAST MAIK, I'VE GOT MOTION SICKNESS!"

saying goodbye to Maik was really one of the hardest. he's been driving us around and being so funny and wonderful for so so long, he really was awesome. after he finished unloading all the luggage at the airport, we told him to just stop and pose as we took our pictures. Mr Lim asked me to help them take a picture together and he stepped on the curb so he was elevated to make it SEEM as if they were of the same height. haha.

everyone took pictures with Maik at the airport, like non-stop pictures man. it was thoroughly hilarious. yet at the same time, really quite sad.

teachers took pictures with Maik. they were all tip-toe-ing and told us not to show the legs. haha :D

watched as Maik drove the bus away and waved bye to us. watched as the bus turned and went down the highway. watched as the bus disappeared at the edge.

haha, a funny thought suddenly came to me. cos the drivers in Germany are always at the left side and it was the first time we saw it, when we got to the bus we attempted to go in by the door on the left, which was for the driver's seat. Maik was laughing and pointed to the other side, and we all went OOHHHHHH and got up. haha :D

walked around the airport a little, bought some random stuff, a cake and a cookie. man i miss their cakes loads :(

plane ride back was so comfortable! i got two seats to myself. no actually, Terri and Peppy had the other seat until i decided to sleep. if Mrs Logan had moved to sit with Ms Lin i would have gotten FOUR seats to myself, but i ain't greedy :D

have to thank Mr Lim for switching seats with me :D

ooh and thanks Ms Lin for switching seats with me on the first flight. many MANY thanks :D

while getting up to go to the toilet, my head hit the tray which the stewardess was holding over my head. haha, huge loss of brain cells in one day man!

WE HAD TO DO AN EMERGENCY LANDING COS A PASSENGER BROKE HIS LEG AND THE PLANE NEEDED TO REFUEL. so it's like, if the passenger didn't break his leg, they wouldn't have refuelled and we would have crashed! KABOOM! so thank you passenger who broke his leg :D

had about three hours of sleep on the plane, which would explain why my head was spinning so much and all when i got back home. slept from 2 to about 10+ and then stayed up till 3am and woke up at 1 pm. whoo.

"STAIRS! MORE STAIRS! JIAYOU WENHUI YOU CAN MAKE IT!"

"you better give me a good seat this time arh, i don't want to get unirary... whatever it's called, again."

"don't want lah, Lee Wei is a nice girl" (i nodded to this statement)

"Mr Lim, say hi to the panda!" (he really smiled at Terri and went HELLO!)

"my daughter just talks to a spieces of... humans, who can actually respond."

"Ms Lin, say hi to the panda!" (she stared, laughed and went off)

"Maik say hi to the panda!" (jolly, Santa Claus sort of laughter. just thinner, cos Maik's thin.)

"perfect! she's the perfect German girl!" (whoo :D)

"i've only ever seen apricot in jams."

"when i said cereal i meant Milo breakfast cereal!"

"so cute!"

"er Lee Wei, are you okay?" (i kept laughing after i HIT my head in the room)

well, many many thanks to Mrs Tang, Mrs Logan, Mr Lim and Ms Lin for making this trip so much fun!

and thanks to Maik, Mrs Vegene, Nadine, Sarah, Nina, her ex (sorry i forgot his name. oops.), Fata, Juliane, Vu, Jill, Laura, Adeline and everyone who has hosted and/or guided us around. thanks all :D

and of course, many thanks to everyone on the trip for making this trip so fun and memorable. love you all! :D

...

btw, anyone wants to do CIP with me?

later, toony

TIRED!

2008-06-20T15:29:00.002+08:00

so let's start from the beginning yeah?

plane trip to Frankfurt was pretty uneventful cos i slept through most of it. i woud mention the very annoying woman beside me, but that wouldn't be nice.

so Frankfurt... met Maik (pronounced Mike), the really tall coach driver who was really a total BFG. he's superbly nice and friendly and while stopping over between Cologne and Berlin (or Berlin and Munich, i can't remember), we were playing on the merry-go-round, someone asked Maik to sponsor us to another round and he put the 1 euro coin in and sat down on the seat.

Ms Lin came out and said we were crazy :D

anyway, it was about 5 am in Germany and 11am in Singapore, so we were rather disorientated. we then drove down to Hockenheim to meet our host families and to see the school. Carolyn and i were bunking together and our host came latest. (MAN we got a teacher :( )

i was REALLY unused to the food and cold water and all, so my stomach was doing some SERIOUS protesting. but the food got better after a while, so... yeah. awesome :D

but one BEYOND memorable thing about Germany are the bakeries. MY GOSH the cakes are soooo good. but smart me forgot to take pictures. -.-

but the cakes are really really nice. didn't really try the sausages though. oops ^^"

my host was a geog teacher named Mrs Wegene (pronounced Mrs Vegene i think). she's really quite nice, but a teacher nonetheless.

Hockenheim's a really really peaceful place, very countryside-ish. they had lacy curtains! but Bavaria is the most countryside-ish place. with lacy curtains, a farm in the backyard, cows, flowers on the window sills...

my dream house when i was younger :)

Cafe Napoli would really be so much better if i had understood anything of it. when we went round for classes the next day, we were sitting behind one of the girls who performed, and she is SUPERBLY nice! :D

Speyer was so peaceful! the only drama thing that happened there was when i went to buy water for Amelia after i finished my lunch and Ms Lin said to meet them back at the cathedral or if they weren't there, back at the restaurant, but when i went back no one was at the cathedral OR the restaurant, which seriously freaked me out, but thankfully Ms Lin came back, or i seriously would have died :)

Colonge! i think everything was rather cool apart from the hotel :D

hahaha, 7 people in one room on the first night with 8 the next! WHOO :D

running with Maik is the craziest thing i've ever done! he's not running he's walking mans! running while everyone else sprints. even Ms Lin can't keep up -.-

lessons at the school were rather fun, Nadine and Sarah are really nice. Sarah's really funny and all, Nadine's just really really nice.

one memorable line: "look, it's our friends from religion!" (religion studies, they were talking about the reformation. it is a catholic school after all; did i neglect to mention that?)

went to the MAMMOTH cathedral after that. had to tilt my head up about 175 degrees to see the tip of the place. it's a gothic building, really dark, kinda scary. if it was up on a hill, with stormy weather and streaks of lightning it would be the perfect haunted house.

went shopping with two other guides after that. we kept wondering if they were a couple and it turns out that they used to be! i knew it man I KNEW IT! :D

didn't get much from that shopping trip, but i did drink Starbucks! my second Starbucks in my life :D haha i sound like such a loser now :D

anyways, we had to say goodbye at the museum... well, they were nice people :)

off to Berlin! Herald is one annoying guide! had dinner in the hostel and played in Marian's room :D

we had an exchange with a Berlin school the next day. Juliane and Fata are superbly nice! and they're so pretty too! Vu was superbly dao and didn't walk around the shopping area with us. tsk.

we spent time in the school hall just talking. they tried teaching us German and we tried teaching them Chinese. German really is quite fun. kinda regret not opting for German as a third language.

well, the time spent with them was really REALLY unbelievably short. we were just warming up to them... and then we had to say bye. i mean... wth lah... hardly got to know them, and i didn't get to make Vu talk to us, even though i promised myself i'd make him do it. sad :(

underground city tour... really rather dark, kinda creepy and we made the guide like us! :D

went shopping after that. oh mans it was totally awesome. bought a bag for my sis (which i intend to borrow some day) and a new blouse. should have gotten myself a bag. but i LOVE H&M!

went off to Munich the next day. the bus ride was shorter than expected and i finished the annoying math worksheet on the bus! chose to stay in the hostel after dinner that day and had quite some fun camwhoring with Julia, Amelia and Marian till the others got back.

went to the Dachau war memorial the next day. walked around with Angela, was really really dozy so i couldn't absorb much. oh wells.

ah it's 12 and i haven't finished yet :(

briefly, the European finals of B@S were in German so i didn't understand much, and and and they really know how to relax when they relax. wish Singaporeans could be like that.

climb up to the Bavarian castle was crazy, but really rather fun. castle's actually rather small by castle standards, but waay bigger than my place. GORGEOUS view, but yeah. that's it.

Maik said i'm a perfect German girl :D

well, i'm saving the last day for tomorrow's post cos i need to make it really really REALLY emo. so... yeah.

i can't possibly upload 902 pictures in one shot, so here are 43!

enjoy :D

later, toony

back.

2008-06-19T12:23:00.001+08:00

it's supposed to be 6 am.

my head's seriously spinning so i should just hurry up, brush my teeth, shower and sleep.

doesn't feel like it was a long time ago that i was doing that in Munich.

bye bye!

2008-06-07T18:57:00.000+08:00

bye all!

i'll be in Germany if you need me! :D

later, toony

quizzes :D

2008-05-30T20:54:00.003+08:00

i've been tagged to do quizzes!

so i shall :D

...

from EMILY PANG...

Rules of the game: Remove one question from below, add in one of your own (personal), to make a total of 20. Tag 10 people in your list in the end of this post. Notify them.

eh, lazy to notify people, so you guys whom i end up tagging better read this.

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
er.

2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 buddies you'd take and why?
i'd take food, air and water cos i don't think any of my buddies want to be stuck on an island.

3. What will you do if you got outcasted?
suck it up i guess. i've still got pandas :)

4. If you can have 1 dream come true, what would it be?
that i can play the clarinet as well as Ms Leong, but that's hardly going to happen :)

5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
i only know i can't survive without air, which, i believe, is free.

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?

my sanity. haha.

7. If you win $ 1 Million, what would you do?

buy a pair of Topshop shoes and donate the rest to worthy causes :)

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
haha. no.

9. What would you do if you are given this extremely rare opportunity to study overseas(or something like that) for 5 years but having to part with ur friends & families as a sacrifice.

er. go i guess... just as long as none of them are chronically ill and there is a huge chance they'll be alive when i get back.

10.What is your dream boy?

er. a boy from my dreams?

11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
materialistic people who will do anything to succeed (AHEM MLAN)

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
kinda difficult not to refuse that offer huh.

13. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. What does it mean to you?
that's God's love man :)

14. Ever been cheated by someone you trust?
unfortunately, yes.

15. If there's ever a war (or things that are similar) happening in your place, are you going to move to a safer place, or fight?
moving to a safer place, a war is waaaay too much action.

16. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
i can't choose.

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Terri :D

18. What's your weakest point?
lack of self-esteem? i don't know.

19. What does love means to you?
just that i guess.

20. If the world is going to end tomorrow, what will you do?
hey, if the world ends tomorrow, there really isn't much time left for me to do much right?

and i wanna replace... question 14!

14. ever forgave someone who betrayed you?

as for tagging people, anyone who sees this, just take it yeah? i'm too lazy to tag ;)

...

and RACHEL'S quiz :D

1. Three names you go by:
Lee Wei
Wei Wei
panda :D

2. Three screen names you had:
toonyweeny
pandalover
leewei

3. Two physical things you like about yourself:
er.

4. Two physical things you hate about yourself:
...

5. Three parts of your heritage:
rather proud to be Chinese :)
my mum's a Malaysian
dad came from Brunei.

6. Three things that scare you:
me when i'm angry.
pain
isolation

7. Three of your everyday essentials:
food
air
water.

8. Two things you are wearing right now
clothes.
clothes -.-

9. Five of your favourite bands or artists:
五月天
Avalon
S.H.E
赞美之泉
SC BAND

10. Five of your favourite songs:
this list changes all the time, so i'm ignoring it.

11. Three things you want in a relationship:
assurance.
happiness
pandas? lol.

12. Two truths and a lie:
i love pandas
i love clarinets
my skin is blue.

13. Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeals you:
LOL PREFERRED SEX.

14. Three of my favourite hobbies:
daydreaming
reading
baking.

15. Three things you want to do badly right now:
watch Bleach
finish homework
run

16. Three careers you've considered/considering
Musician
Counselor
panda caretaker

17. Three places you want to go on vacation:
Sichuan
Japan
lala land

18. Three names you like:
no comment -.-

19. Three things you want to do before you die:
make a positive difference to someone
spread the Word!
bungee jump

20. Three ways you are stereotypically a boy:
huh.

21. Three ways you are stereotypically a girl:
right.

22. Three celeb crushes
HITSUGAYA TOUSHIRO!
haha, sorry, even Orlando Bloom doesn't rouse any interest :)

23. Three people you would want to see take this quiz:
any bored people who want to volunteer? :)

...

i like brownies :)

today was fun! Chuck and Larry is a funny movie!

but really... why does Celeste take an interest in such movies arh? TSK!

haha, love you guys :D

Wen Hui makes too much noise ;)

later, toony

shopping :)

2008-05-29T22:16:00.004+08:00

today's masterclass was... unexpected.

i was hoping for a conventional masterclass, but making me play by heart and walking to the tempo is seriously... -.-

oh wells, at least they have a nice dog :)

and i can't wait for the clarinets to be produced!

...

shopping with my mum and sis can be quite productive.

for example, i got the dress i've been wanting for so long! :D

and and and i got a nice pink blouse/dress too :D

the nice Topshop shoes were like $23.

AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE MY SIZE!!!!

hear that? that's my heart shattering into a million pieces. T_T

well, it was a nice day for bonding :)

...

how can anyone think this is ugly :)

the latest song is ALONES by Aqua Timez, Bleach opening 6.

i like it a lot too :)

later, toony

quotes.

2008-05-28T21:24:00.002+08:00

"the funny thing about chasing dreams is that nobody can do it alone."

...

Hitsugaya just keeps getting cooler :D

...

Omens is a nice song.

if only that stupid CD player would work.

i'd like to hear the SC Band CD...

later, toony

IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT.

2008-05-26T19:40:00.002+08:00

ISHIDA URYUU IS AN IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!

FIRST HE SHOT THAT ARROW WHICH LED THE BOUNTO INTO SOUL SOCIETY

THEN HE USED THAT ACCESSORY OF HIS TO SAVE RAN'TAO INSTEAD OF KILLING KARIYA

THEN HE FIRED THAT SUPER DUPER POWERFUL ARROW AT THE SKY INSTEAD OF AT KARIYA.

IDIOT I TELL YOU! IDIOT!

haha, i'm getting obsessed with Bleach :D

HITSUGAYA :D

the next Bleach movie is about him mans!

but he MUST live through the movie, he CANNOT die.

he's too funny for that :D

Hitsugaya was voted the most popular Bleach character in the latest Shonen Jump polls, replacing Ichigo, who had previously held the position.

he beat Rukia too!

wahahahahahaha :D

...

i like brownies :)

and i really miss Sophia :(

...

shall post a detailed post about my brownies tomorrow :D

along with how i wash the toilets ;)

the fifth Bleach opening, Rolling Star by Yui (chipmunk version)

it's nice! :D

kay maybe you guys don't need to know how i wash toilets ^^

sorry, a bit high today :D

later, toony

SCHOOL'S OUT!

2008-05-23T21:20:00.003+08:00

wahahahaha

finally! :D

and i'm going to spend loads of time watching BLEACH! wahahahaha :D

i think i'm going crazy, and it's thanks to the panda biscuits Janine gave me!

tsk.

...

it's tomorrow...

man i'm going to miss them.

so thank God i've still got Fionna :D

and GERMANY with Celeste, Fann and Amelia :D

and Sherri too haha :D

...

totally stopped thinking after music when i started watching Bleach, so i almost died during Lang Arts trying to make myself think.

couldn't stop yawning during the SLC meeting.

oops.

...

AHH i wrote a nice long reflection and it got deleted!! :(

i shall try again...

...

honestly, this semester has been crazy with all the various projects. really really exhausting, and that's why i keep spacing out during Lang Arts i guess.

next semester's going to be worse, with my practical exam, YPSB and EOYs, and preparations for SYF.

with all the draining stuff going on, i think i've lost my focus yet again.

this holiday's going to be more then just rest. i'm going to use this holiday to recuperate, get my focus back so i can be more energised for next term.

no, my priority isn't being a student. it's being a daughter, and i just keep forgetting that. but not anymore.

no more plunking of self onto bed right after reading the devo and not praying. no more excuses honey. no more.

i can do this.

...

i think my first reflection was better :(

...

Celeste, Fann, Amelia, i LOVE you guys :D

...

jiayou jiayou! 办得到的! :D

2SY, i'll miss you :)

...

lovely song.

can someone please help me find the piano score?

thank you :D

later, toony

thinking.

2008-05-21T20:13:00.002+08:00

when i looked through the SCGS concert band network, i realised a lot.

there were so so SO many seniors i never knew, working, with boyfriends, graduating from university etc.

i mean, they're kinda old.

and yet, they still belong in the SCGS concert band network.

which made me wonder, what makes them feel like they belong? what is it that makes them so willing to come back to being a part of SCGS concert band?

i can't help it. when i think about the spirit that band must have had... i just envy them so much.

but apart from that... looking through the many members of the network... it filled me up with a very different emotion.

i think i felt that same belonging that i felt last year.

yes, band has changed.

but no matter what, i'll always stick to my belief that being in band is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

thank you Mr Yap. thank you Ms Leong. thank you seniors :)

later, toony

sucks.

2008-05-21T18:00:00.004+08:00

had so much fun with Fionna and Alyssa today :D

just a pity i won't be getting allowance for a month now. :(

but next time i go Heeren i am SO buying that bag.

...

joy to the world, i think i'm just about finished with Home Econs work.

took me quite a good deal to go try out the different stuff.

pity i'll never be able to buy anything.

i shall have more fun next time! :D

and i will stop pigging out and spending $20 on food.

*nods*

ALYSSA FIONNA I LOVE YOU TWO :D

and Fionna talks well haha :D

...

GERMANY'S COMING SOON!

honestly i don't know if i'm looking forward to it.

i just know i can't wait for the holidays :)

i really REALLY better start earning money so i can spend it all :D

and i will camwhore a lot too :)

better bring camera charger to Germany.

...

there must be something.

i can't give up.

苏打绿 - 小情歌

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱受不了
看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑逃不了
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱受不了
看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑逃不了
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱受不了
看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑逃不了
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

later, toony

GEOG'S SCREWING ME!!!

2008-05-19T21:41:00.002+08:00

firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ESTHER!

for today, let's not argue over whether horses are better than pandas or not yeah? :D

...

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT CAN'T BEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PANDAS CANNOT GO MISSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE AREN'T ENOUGH OF THEM ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i'm sad now lah :(

...

stupid Geog, it's screwing up my brain left right and center :(

yeah sure, this climate isn't suitable, that soil isn't suitable blah blah blah

WELL THEN WHAT IS SUITABLE DAMN YOU!!!!???????

argh.

ARGH.

later, toony

cheer up.

2008-05-18T11:48:00.003+08:00

i've finally realised that compromise is quite a big word.

the concept of understanding and accepting is quite difficult to grasp sometimes.

but honestly, what happened there?

is that it for you guys...?

i've never seen them so sad before... never.

...

some sale. a blouse is already $50 :(

so instead, we went up and down Orchard Road doing dumb things ^^

but i really like that dress!

and i'm just so dumb lah lost the neoprints :(

sorry dear :(

i'll always remember off off!

i love you!

cheer up yeah!

...

honestly, i'm worried.

everything around me is screwing up so much now.

and it feels like i can't do anything to help.

...

my gosh Fionna can be so cute sometimes :D

...

Bavaria is the most troublesome place to research on :(

...

i just miss everything so much.

please remember the promises.

later, toony

happy birthday to me :)

2008-05-16T22:11:00.002+08:00

this birthday's comparatively quiet. very very quiet.

it's the first time in my life i didn't go out for dinner on my birthday. even in P5, when my sis went for OBS and my dad went overseas to work just before my birthday, i had dinner with my mum at Crystal Jade.

this year, i've succumbed to the pressures of work, so no going out today except to piano lesson.

a really quiet birthday for a really noisy kid, yet i haven't had a happier birthday in my life.

a MAMMOTH thank you to everyone who wished me happy birthday :D

a thank you very much to Celeste, Fann and Amelia for being resourceful with my Percy Pigs hahaha :D

a thank you loads to Qingyi and Janine for wasting time with me on Thursday. i had loads of fun :D

a big thank you to Liyan for the panda model. MY GOSH it's SO CUTE LAH! :D

an equally big thank you to Mellie for the SUPER SUPER cute panda pen! :D

a huge thank you to Priscilla for going all the way to Ang Mo Kio hub to get my present and coming all the way back to give me, and for sitting down to talk to me. the pandas are super cute lah my gosh :D

a bravo thank you to Fionna for the treble clef charm and panda keychain :D

a superb thank you to Stephanie and Zi Kun for the DAMN CUTE panda notebook :D

a special thank you for Ms Evelyn for the treble clef necklace :D

and all my gratitude to my sis for Peppy, my mum and dad for the Risis panda bracelet and the dinner and the cake :D

ever since i fell sick before carnival, i've been so much more appreciative of my family and for the family i have in school. everyone's just so awesome to me, and i've just been so so much happier. especially 2SY and band people. you guys give me reason to stay in SC and not to try out for IP, and i'm really really grateful to all of you for that.

everyone,

i love you guys :)

later, toony

looked.

2008-05-14T22:29:00.002+08:00

gosh.

we look happy.

...

that feels like such a long time ago.

...

MY GOSH I HATE PUBERTY!!!!

and for the first time in my life, i'm hating my birthday.

...

i should stop being immature.

...

but Stuart, that was a kind thought :D

...

we looked happy.

it's the wrong stand.

later, toony

-tired-

2008-05-13T19:34:00.002+08:00

been superbly tired lately.

ever since the week leading up to Istana, i've just been killing myself over work again and again.

i need a big Subway cookie.

...

Twelfth Night's taking over my brain D:

"If music be the food of love, play on.
Give me excess of it, that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die."

=.=

...

Fionna, Qingyi, Alyssa, i love you guys man! :D

keep being cool :D

...

i keep being reminded of how cool it is to be a clarinettist :D

i have a VERY random sister.

...

hahaha Priscilla i should follow you around the school one day!

and you should follow me around one day!

we'll both be very happy on that day!

:D

...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SC BAND!

you're almost approaching 40!!!

but please do stay the same kay?

...

-brain dead-ness -

i'm dreaming of big chocolate cakes.

14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14.

i want a free day for my birthday :(

at least time to have dinner with my parents and my sis lah.

but there's piano lesson WTH -.-

...

i wanna hibernate!

later, toony

probably not.

2008-05-12T19:57:00.001+08:00

aww man you can't really see the nice nice rectangles.

oh wells, just know that i created a masterpiece with flash during computer studies today :D

...

i finished my math work quite well in the band room today.

ain't that cool? i know where's one place i can study at in the future.

only... i can't eat while studying.

hmm.

...

i like those five chairs.

i think writing on the stand now really is too late.

...

give me a reason to give you a chance.

just one, small reason, and i will give it to you.

i would like a conductor i can get along with.

...

feeling rather sleepy suddenly.

...

math test tomorrow.

i really REALLY hope i don't screw up all the algebra questions :(

...

went looking for algebra practice questions online and look at the first question i saw:

If Lynn can type a page in p minutes, what piece of the page can she do in 5 minutes?

you can almost say i see her everywhere lol.

a nice song :D

later, toony

loving Reverso.

2008-05-09T21:50:00.004+08:00

i just realised that i've only been to Island Creamery with seniors.

my gosh i look so retarded.

Alyssa, Qingyi, Lynn, you guys are great man :D

Reverso ice-cream's going to be really special to me from now on :)

...

well, i'm just really REALLY glad OM and CE presentation's over.

but Celeste, Liwen, Cheryl, Wen Hui, Deborah Tan arh...

you guys watch out man!

2SY rocks :D

...

Isabel dear,

i love you loads! :D

...

last year, i loved school. like the whole school culture and everything.

and it was the band spirit that made me love band so much too.

but now, school still means so much to me just cos of the people.

and it's the people that make me so reluctant to leave...

so, thanks everyone for giving me reasons to keep coming.

love you guys :D

...

stupid 190s, 700A and 960 -.-

the guy on the bus had scary eyes.

...

ooh yes

can we play Final Fantasy for the clarinet ensemble? :D

later, toony

Island Creamery

2008-05-08T21:09:00.002+08:00

wth stayed up till 2 am rushing the OM portfolio and finishing Mr Tee's damn math worksheet -.-

i'm NEVER doing that again.

suddenly, i just feel like dropping dead in bed.

...

OM was screwed, but not as bad as expected :D

good job everyone, and thanks for bearing with my temper :)

...

sectionals...

i got a nicer sound for the high notes, but i can't produce that sound when i move from the non-register notes to the register notes, so i need help from Ms Leong.

the Mr Tan in the band room today is such a dreamer.

...

there's no point complaining about it all if we don't do anything.

let them hear from the smallest level in the band.

i'm not going to let them change so much without a fight.

and i just hope that everyone is willing to step out of the comfort zone, to risk getting on the bad side of the teachers just to try, even to try, to get our SC Band back.

i don't want this CCA to screw up.

not now.

not ever.

...

no, Istana didn't mean anything to me.

maybe that's why i screwed up so badly that day.

...

i don't want any more to change.

please, just keep your word?

that's all we really want...

...

i love little Panda dear :)

and Tommy too ^^

never forgetting Terri :D

nor Peter :D

pandas rule :D

...

and of course, Alyssa, Qingyi, Lynn,

i love you guys :D

let's take a tour of the LRT system someday kay? :D

Howie Day - Collide

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

When I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide

You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide

later, toony

om sucks!!

2008-05-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

i hate OM.

i'm going to burn midnight oil tonight!

coffee please!

:(

oh my, i totally forgot i had Les Miserables in my music library -.-

later, toony

OM SUCK!!!

2008-05-06T20:13:00.002+08:00

OM's screwing me left right and center lahh.

and after that there's the CE presentation.

then the Lang Arts performance task.

and preparations for Germany.

thanks -.-

...

beyond tired now.

reminds me of a song we sang in primary school choir.

winkle, blinkle and nod.

wink, blink, nod, snooze.

zzzzzzzzzzz

...

I HATE OM!!!

juniors reading this, try your best to do other stuff, just DON'T DO OM!!!

guai :D

...

yeah, that was a close shave.

but we're not going to let you take away any more than you already have.

...

retail therapy :(

later, toony

screw geog!!

2008-05-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

SCREW GEOG.

cos Geog's going to kill me :(

walking does help.

2008-05-04T13:56:00.002+08:00

took a walk around the estate yesterday.

did anyone know there's such a thing as University Rd park?

...

walking helped a little. made me think better and all.

walking around the estate beats the treadmill ANYDAY. next time i should try jogging.

but that would mean deprived of water until i get out of the maze of roads.

i do feel somewhat better though.

hope this lasts for a little while longer.

...

i think... we should go talk to them again.

this time, i have a clearer idea of what i want to say.

...

wahahaha my dad is so retarded.

- the dad walks in while i stare at soft ice-cream with chocolate sauce and shaved frozen milk-
me: dad! i want this!
dad: wow that looks nice. when do you want it?
me: on my birthday would be nice :D
dad: your birthday? that's a long way away!
me: what long way away!
dad: it's in June right?
me: -stunned-

tsk 14 years le still cannot remember -.-

never mind, i'm understanding enough to understand that it's probably cos he's been way to busy lately :D

anyways, i've been doing really retarded stuff lately, like leaving my geog text in school when there's a geog test on Tuesday.

and breaking the air pump thingy while trying to pump air into my bicycle tyres.

i'm waay beyond smart! hahaha :D

i'm not going to be sad and emo today, cos otherwise i won't be able to post my birthday wishlist!

ha, so retarded :D

NEW CLARINET!
clarinet scores
Stream of Praise albums :D
nice nice piano scores from nice nice movies like... Titanic. and some nice famous songs which have nice piano scores.
new metronome (i do love my current pink one, but i think it lags.)
new bible!!! (those with nice long devos inside. yeah.)
those nice nice christian books.
cookbooks! (there was this nice book i read about in Lifestyle, and it's like $60!!!)
ice-cream maker (don't need a very serious one, just as long as it works, i'm happy :) )
a nice big tub of B & J's, Haagen Dazs, Island Creamery and Gelare ice-cream ;)
Topshop shoes!
Topshop clothes :D
baking stuff like piping nozzles and all (THIS MIGHT BE USED FOR YOUR PRESENT KAY!)
a crumpler!
a nice Paper People notebook (A5 please :D)
a nice blank notebook (a big one would be nice ^^)
a nice enough A5 notebook with lines for all the random stuff i have to write down
nice nice accessories! (preferably panda-related :D)
nice new file and plastic folder.
and of course, PANDA STUFF!!
and anything else you think i might like :D

yup, that's it for now!

jot all this down!! this post may disappear soon enough! :D

and there's something i really want, but i can't quite remember what it is.

OH YES!

22. a music stand!

yes yes i know i'm thick-skinned ;)

by the way, does anyone know of any nice cake shops? like those sort that really let you sit down and eat cake sort of cake shops?

...

you will be better off without me.

we're not on the same path anymore.

...

maybe one day i'll learn to let go.

later, toony

yesterdays.

2008-05-02T21:10:00.002+08:00

yesterday was kind of an explode day for me.

it's a very funny feeling, being hungry with a rumbling stomach and all, yet after the first bite you just feel like throwing everything up again.

walked around with panda, showing her the places which mean so much to me.

maybe i should have just sat outside the band room and waited for the key to come back.

well, instead, i chose to sit at the hydroponics area where we have sectionals. and i just sat down and stoned.

seeing Qingyi and Fionna come over... and i just gave in.

i love you two :)

...

off to Istana... panda dear couldn't come :(

haiz, sad that i couldn't be with the clarinets on the bus...

Istana's rather cool, like really big and all...

the heat almost killed me lah. my head was spinning quite badly.

and it really wasn't a very good performance.

...

back to school, and i think that's where things got kinda bad.

but honestly... you promised that you guys will be trying hard to make it all better for us.

but don't you get it? we're different from Mr Tan's other bands. if he's not used to it, he better get used to it now.

SC Band is SC Band, that's a fact no one can ever change. everyone loved SC Band, we belonged, and the best part? we were happy.

i used to stare at the darn clock wishing that it would hurry up and i could just hurry to the band room and get stands and all.

i actually quite enjoyed trying not to stumble over the whole mess of bags. i enjoyed the super long walks to the far far away classrooms.

i liked learning under Ms Leong and Ms Ng. i really enjoyed it. Ms Leong's beyond cool man.

i used to wish so desperately that i could hurry and join the main band so i could play with them and all.

now, i stare at the darn clock wishing it would hurry up and i could go home and band prac would be over and all.

i miss the old SC Band so much i even ENJOY playing five minutes a day now.

so please, it's just one last thing you can do for us. don't change handover day.

please.

...

lost appetite again today.

i've been doing that quite often lately...

2.4 today made me realise just how demoralised i've become.

but really, i'm tired.

i'm sick and tired of fighting against all this. i'm sick and tired of fighting the notion that it's all over, that i should just give up.

i don't want to give up. i really want the old SC Band back.

yes, maybe the new SC Band's not going to be bad.

call me selfish, but i think we all deserve the best, and SC Band '07 was the best.

i need motivation to keep going to school. that's what band did for me last year. and i need that motivation back.

...

somedays, i just wish i could stay in the band room all day.

there has to be something we can do. something. anything.

i can't give up now.

...

i was being really quiet and all emo-ish today. sorry people, i couldn't help it.

i was just really tired today.

...

i screwed up NAPFA D:

...

i'm going to walk around the school again on Monday.

but i'm not going to cry.

...

how i wish i could talk about this.

but i just can't seem to be able to bring myself to.

anyone knows what song this is?

later, toony

belated.

2008-04-30T20:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CELESTE!

i love you you funny person :D

...

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DIONE!

stay cute and pretty yeah! :D

...

sorry i couldn't finish blogging yesterday ^^"

...

i know. i know it's hurting you a lot, and i'm sorry. really, i am.

but please, just let me be.

...

i didn't want to do this today. but this emotion just came over me so overwhelmingly, and i really really can't help it.

i never knew i'd come to need them so much.

when Fann, Amelia and i went out of the band room to self prac, i chose that particular area for a reason. that's where the seniors had helped me out with Last Ride of the Pony Express.

when i walked back there from the band room, i stopped by the tap place, where the sec fours had made us line up to get splashed during FUNdamentals last year.

and that's where i found the spare water bomb and splashed Lynn with it.

i looked over the field and the track, cos that's where we had that MAJOR water fight during band camp. it's when we were chasing Beatrice and Wen Hui around, and we accidentally hit Beatrice's forehead with the pail.

that area outside that dance studio's where we would pump and have our long talks, that spiral staircase was where the sec 4s (sec 3s then) managed to cheat the juniors into sitting in front of them, when they really wanted to fire water guns at us.

honestly, i thought i'd be okay with it. i thought i'd be able to handle it. i thought i'd be able to hang on, to not cry, to be able to say "goodbye, i wish you all the best in everything you do."

and i thought wrong.

i've got a lump in my throat, and it refuses to budge. i felt it all the way through dinner, and i'm still feeling it.

i never liked saying goodbye.

i wish i could be a spoilt brat. i wish i could whine and cry and kick and scream until you guys give in and stay on just to keep me quiet.

but i'm not going to be selfish.

so... tomorrow's going to be goodbye.

and thank you.

and maybe tomorrow, i won't cry.

...

and i've lost all mood and appetite for everything.

王羚柔 - 当我们同在一起

如果云是天空的呼吸
风是我慌张的叹息
回忆是爱的延续
只因为你和我已经不在一起

当我们同在一起
在一起在一起

空气里有午后的暖意
我听着沙沙收音机
突然间下起了雨
雨让我好想好想你想抱着你

当我们同在一起
在一起在一起在一起
在一起其快乐无比

你是我曾经的甜蜜
我是你爱情的过去
那一段美好的记忆
我们都不能够忘记

因为我很爱很爱你
所以能微笑着离去
虽然我不会再见你
幸福是我们曾经在一起

你是我曾经的甜蜜
我是你爱情的过去
那一段美好的记忆
我们都不能够忘记

因为我很爱很爱你
所以能微笑着离去
虽然我不会再见你
幸福是我们曾经在一起

空气里有午后的暖意
我听着沙沙收音机
唱什么听不清晰
因为我傻傻的笑着想起了你

当我们同在一起
在一起在一起
在一起在一起

later, toony

happy happy birthday to me.

2008-04-28T19:54:00.002+08:00

ah, 29th April's here again.

waay loads of people have birthdays on 29th April.

but i still think May 16th's the coolest day :D

...

Lynn asked me if i was looking forward to Thursday.

and i have a really long list of reasons why i'm not.

firstly, i never wanted to perform at the Istana. maybe it's just that unconfident kid in me, but i really don't think i should play in front of the president.

secondly, we're seriously seriously not prepared for it. well maybe we are, but we're not exactly playing well enough are we...

thirdly, it's my first and last actual performance with the sec 4s. am i supposed to look forward to that?

but maybe, on a more selfish level, it's cos Mr Yap's not our conductor.

i never dreamt that my first concert with SC Band wouldn't be under him. i never thought that my last would be under someone else.

and maybe... maybe i don't want to perform under anyone except him.

...

sectionals today.

awesome, i got there at 2.30 and just waited for someone from the section to come until 3. then Georgina came, and we waited till 3.30 for someone else to come, when Fionna and Jamie came. then the sec threes started coming in slowly, and went for lunch, so by the time we decided to start practising, it was 4.

sectionals with Qingyi in charge... interesting sectionals, really.

ran through the pieces, and when we finished playing them, Fionna, Jamie, Lynn and i stayed back with the intention of practising, but we just ended up talking.

my birthday's going to be busy this year :(

had fun talking about random stuff with the juniors and Lynn.

walked back with Lynn after she locked up the band room and all, and i think what she said does make sense.

i wonder how different SC Band will be when my batch leaves.

SC Band was so much more than a CCA. SC Band was a family. everyone was welcomed, and everyone felt welcomed.

but she's so much colder now...

i do miss the old SC Band. she didn't get a Gold for SYF, but that's not quite important anymore.

...

i'm suddenly quite tired.

but i'm not about to get into trouble anymore.

yeah.

...

when i heard this i was just stunned.

play so fast for what!! ><"

Clarinet Polka

they don't have an alto or a bass though...

later, toony

and i'm back to square one.

2008-04-27T22:34:00.002+08:00

i have decided to work much much harder this term.

even though it's already ending -.-

no more procrastination. i have to do well this term.

i'm not going to disappoint anyone anymore.

yeah.

JIAYOU! :D

...

so it's the B40 that's turning Sophie blue.

i have to take care of Sophie AND the mouthpiece...

ziplock bags! :D

...

i predict a crazy week ahead. we'll definitely be waay busy with band pracs and sectionals and maybe self prac until Thursday.

it's only my second performance with SC Band, apart from sec one orientation, so i really hope i don't screw up Thursday's performance.

...

i am a voice that's waiting to be heard.

feels like i'm back where i began.

you don't deserve the way i'm treating you, i'm sorry.

it's personal.

later, toony

last one.

2008-04-26T16:03:00.002+08:00

today's the last Saturday band prac with sec 4s.

it came way too early.

...

many thanks to Lynn for the breakfast treat today ^^

the teh tarik really was quite nice.

it really felt like a bunch of little kids waiting for mum to give them breakfast.

but what i want to say... i'm going to save it for later.

sad to say, Alyssa's right. Pirates just isn't the same anymore.

Qing, Alyssa and i were talking about Mr Yap's stack of four chairs and him bouncing around.

i remember Fann saying she wanted to be like Kelly and sit on Mr Yap's chair.

i remember his stand, which had all sorts of spastic messages on it.

i especially enjoyed the band prac where he asked us to say different stuff for attendance-taking, and i responded with pandas rule :D

i enjoyed all my band pracs with him, and i enjoyed those with Ms Leong too.

just wish i had understood that it couldn't possibly last. i just wish i had understood that.

...

stayed in school till 6.30 arranging files yesterday. maybe i was rushing, which would explain why the third clarinet score was in the bass clarinet file. heh.

it's the first time i was alone in the band room, just sitting there with scores scattered all around me, air-con switched off.

i kinda enjoyed it.

sitting in the band room, not playing and all... there seems to be some residue spark right there.

but Alyssa's right. there's no feel anymore.

...

Madrigalum.

i fell in love with the piece when i heard the seniors play it.

lovely song really.

i survived PTD, and i survived the shock of my report book.

but really, i expected more Bs.

later, toony

woken.

2008-04-21T19:11:00.003+08:00

kay, firstly, sorry for the lack of updates, i've been really lazy to update lately ^^"

many thanks to Mellie, Priscilla, Emily Pang and Julia Fung for coming to visit me on Friday! :D

and many thanks to Celeste for being so nice and concerned about me :D

love you guys loads!

...

this weekend really was quite a wake up call.

thank God for it.

i have to stop blaming others for my own mistakes.

have to stop going down this slippery slide.

and i remember now. i remember how i absolutely can't afford to disappoint them anymore, remember how much they really love me.
but truly, i've realised just what a failure i can be, how disappointing a child i am, how i just can't seem to do anything right.
PTD's like three days after her birthday. how on earth is she going to handle that report card...?
i'm so so so sorry.
Dear Lord, i need help to go back, and i need strength.
please Lord, i need help. and i'm so sorry i've been such a disappointing daughter.

later, toony

Reverso.

2008-04-17T19:55:00.002+08:00

Reverso ice-cream is good.

only i'm like totally broke now lah :(

cos a lot of people owe me money.

and i owe Alyssa money.

...

sectionals weren't bad today, I USED THE BLACK CLARINET! :D

okay lah, i wasn't used to it so i didn't sound as nice as i wish i could.

Sophia's nice man, we're going to play so well for Rainbow Connection, like the part where the bass and the alto have the melody.

didn't get to play on Sophie today. she's such a dear :)

i better name the pandas ASAP lah, i don't want to keep calling them Panda and Other Panda -.-

went out for Island Creamery with Alyssa and Lynn again.

it was a talking thing again, but Reverso ice-cream really does wonders for my mood.

sinfully awesome. yeah mans :)

...

whoots if i had passed my Geog file i would have gotten that A1.

ha. ha. ha.

...

i officially conclude that i'm S-C-R-E-W-E-D for Science.

there goes triple science.

i'm so dead.

...

i have got to buck up.

or i'll just be pushed down.

...

Mighty To Save

later, toony

i'm sorry.

2008-04-16T20:49:00.003+08:00

i realised i've been crying quite a good deal lately.

sorry guys, i'm not a very good actress.

i'm really sorry that i'm being such a brat, complaining about all sorts of stuffs, when my life's really awesome and fantastic

sorry that i'm so unbelievably weak and insecure

i'm really sorry that i've been slacking so much and been so unwilling to do all the super important stuff i have to do.

all in all, i'm really sorry for being such a horrible person.

...

i'd like to have Island Creamery Reverso, Haagen Dazs Belgian Chocolate and Gelare dark chocolate ice-cream.

i'm developing an intense appreciation for rain.

...

maybe it's my winter now. where i need to curl up and hibernate.

it's been a year now. this time last year, scars had just been inflicted, nowhere near healing ye

maybe that's why.

maybe it's my screwed up grades. maybe it's the disappointment i have in myself, knowing that i should always have worked harder.

maybe it's cos school's growing intensely stressful, and i smartly signed up for Teacher's Day committee.

and maybe because i really can't seem to tell anyone about anything anymore.

...

it gets bleaker with each day.

i'll just be waiting now.

just waiting.

...

PE today was fun though.

thanks Pan-E, thanks Cheryl Ho :)

...

how i wish i was allowed to keep emo fringes.

they get on my nerves sometimes, but i still think they're cool.

...

yeah, expected.

i screwed up Science.

yay.

...

my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save.

later, toony

here we go again.

2008-04-14T21:05:00.002+08:00

the same thing happens week after week.

once again, i'm freaking out cos of the common test i have tomorrow.

this time, it's worse, cos i know i can't screw this up, i just can't.

it's not a good thing, from 5 As to most probably 6 Bs.

if i think it's bad now, i should just wait till PTD.

awesome.

it's not fair.

2008-04-14T16:56:00.005+08:00

it's not fair.

don't you think that it's enough that i couldn't perform in the last concert Mr Yap had with us?

don't you think it's enough that i couldn't perform in that concert with the sec 4s of '07?

just one short, sweet, simple concert with them.

please.

...

Sophie dear...

i'm sorry.

sorry that you got stuck with a horrible player like me.

you deserve so much more.

sorry dear.

:(

...

Julia's mum is seriously funny

that was the best joke i've EVER heard.

...

really wished it would rain today.

rain is really really refreshing sometimes.

feels like it washes away all burdens, and while you're walking through it, everything seems to fade away.

next time the rain falls in torrents, i'll forget about my umbrella, forget that i'm getting drenched, forget that my books will get wet.

and next time i get to do that, maybe i'll just forget.

and i really really wish i will.

...

i would really like to have Mariah Carey's latest album.

...

great, i just remembered my Chinese, History, Lang Arts and Geog grades.

and there's hardly any doubt whatsoever that i'm going to screw up Science too.

here's to hoping Math PT didn't just kill me.

...

argh i better not think of such things.

it'll just make me really really scared.

later, toony

if only.

2008-04-13T11:59:00.002+08:00

i like Lifestyle even more now, especially with the new cooking column and the reflect column.

last week's reflect column was on pain, and i think it was well written.

this week's was quite good too.

your mind wanders at funerals.

you look around at the people who show up and wonder what sort of crowd you would attract at your own funeral.

you start thinking about what sort of venue your loved ones would choose in your absence, what the food and music will be like and the kinds of things they would say about you.

but most of all you ask yourself: should my life end suddenly tomorrow, would i have been happy with the way i lived?

frankly, i have no idea right now.

but i know i'd be thankful that God allowed me to meet all the awesome people in my life.

SC Band, the awesome clarinet section, the small but significant recruits '07, the great 2SY '08, the very VERY lively cell group, and the old people from HMC.

but if only.

if only.

...

don't worry.

i'll still smile.

but for now, please understand if i'm suddenly very withdrawn.

...

i'm sorry.

and i hope it's not too late.

...

PL MGS band concert wasn't too bad, i really liked the alumni band. the ladies at the drumset were awfully good.

and i do like the encore. so unbelievably lame.

...

later, toony

rainy days.

2008-04-12T14:28:00.003+08:00

rained again today.

but today was different.

i was alone today.

...

Sophie, please don't start rusting, i'll cry.

seriously.

i'm so damn sorry i didn't take good care of you...

you're a beautiful clarinet.

...

Fionna, Jamie, let's gang again soon kays!

it's so super fun lah ^^

...

i really really want to go for the May 9th concert.

please...

...

i have no idea why, although i woke up later than usual, i was so super early today.

don't bother asking me.

...

rainy days.

later, toony

zzz

2008-04-11T22:27:00.002+08:00

i officially pronounce myself brain dead.

but i'm not sleepy.

zzz.

...

it's a good thing Teacher said i could reach her place by 8, cos i was still on the stupid bus at 7.45.

okay, to be fair, the bus isn't stupid, very nice and long, roomy, so i didn't have to squeeze.

i think i'm growing claustrophobic.

...

i feel.

weird.

maybe i'm just tired.

maybe.

just maybe.

...

the bus was freezing.

strangely enough, i could feel myself turning cold too.

...

strange how my memory works.

i love you Alyssa :)

later, toony

once again.

2008-04-11T15:47:00.002+08:00

jiayou jiayou.

today's going to be another tiring day, as Fridays have always been.

my week hasn't been particularly productive, especially since i WASTED my ONLY free afternoon cos i didn't bring my keys, and the band room wasn't open. zzz.

i've been staying up to do Lang Arts notes lately. and even though i'm nowhere near done with Umbrella Man, i guess it's a start.

i'm currently wishing i didn't have piano lesson later. i was super tired after recess today, so much so that for the first time this year, i fell asleep in Math.

i'm ashamed.

...

Joyce is so cute :D

she reminds me of Pei Wen!

...

Michael Bolton - Lean On Me

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But, if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long, till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride, if I have things
You need to borrow
For no one can fill, those of your needs
That you won't let show

You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem, that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long, till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

You just call on me brother when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem, that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load, you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load
If you just call me...call me

If you need a friend....call me
If you need a friend....if you ever need a friend
Call me....call me....

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long, till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

nice song :D

later, toony

...

2008-04-10T19:44:00.002+08:00

no, CCH, i do not intend to e-mail you on how you can improve on how you teach.

like no way am i going to reveal any way to contact me man.

...

i feel so unlucky.

...

MANY MANY THANKS TO AMELIA FOR THE LOVELY CARROT CAKE!

it had frosting! :D

...

sectionals were rather fun.

Ms Leong rocks man!! she's like so super funny and so super nice lahh :D

and if any junior even dares to think she's bitchy, y'all better change that mindset like now, cos she's really really the best.

the alto clarinet's shiny now! so awesome lah!! :D

but the cloth is very dirty now. like. very.

tsk.

Sophia's ready to SHINE yo!

she should be part of SY :D

...

anyone who needs explanation on that statement, drop me a message or an IM, i'll reply yeah! ^^

...

went to island creamery with Alyssa and Lynn after sectionals.

Reverso is so good lah! all chocolatey and stuff :D

but the rain was heavy. really heavy.

so we just sat there and talked about all sorts of random stuff while having ice-cream.

sent Alyssa up the bus with the umbrella as it was still raining, then ran back to get Lynn.

it was a super light drizzle when Lynn and i started walking over to the bus stop, but it got really heavy after a while and the stupid girl refused to take the umbrella :/

so even though i got the umbrella in the end, i was quite wet lah :D

i wanna walk in the heavy heavy rain again. it's rather refreshing.

yeah man.

...

quiet time during recess was really quite productive. i should do it more often.

Genesis 1: 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

i'm so so sinful.

and i've tarnished His image quite badly.

and yet He still loves me.

no, i'm not worthy. but because He thinks i am, so i am.

...

heh, i think Lynn's right, i'll fall sick before she does.

but that's great eh! :D

...

anyways, back to making Umbrella Man notes.

i realised that i'm super slow in making Lang Arts notes lah. i still have Mid-Autumn, The Move, The Hitchhiker and The Way Up To Heaven, and i'm nowhere near to finishing Umbrella Man.

:(

...

attaching files through e-mails is so slow.

...

赞美之泉 - 只因你

我把我的过去与祢交换
我把我的痛苦与祢诉说
我把我的忧伤全然抛去

我把我的过去与祢交换
我把我的痛苦与祢诉说
我把我的忧伤全然抛去

我把我的重担完全卸下

只因祢，祢的复活使我有盼望
只因祢的十架使我得医治
只因祢，祢的复活使我得自由
因祢的完全，使我成圣洁，只因祢

我把我的过去与祢交换
我把我的痛苦与祢诉说
我把我的忧伤全然抛去

我把我的过去与祢交换
我把我的痛苦与祢诉说
我把我的忧伤全然抛去

我把我的重担完全卸下

只因祢，祢的救赎使我得看见
看见祢作为奇妙可畏
只因祢，祢的双手使我得释放
因祢的信实，使我有明天，只因祢

只因祢，祢的救赎使我得看见
看见祢作为奇妙可畏
只因祢，祢的双手使我得释放
因祢的信实，使我有明天，只因祢

只因祢只因祢只因祢只因祢

WHOOTS I FINISHED UMBRELLA MAN.

but that's only character analysis and significance of title, going into detail about the story itself will take forever.

zzz... WEEKENDS.

...

PL MGS Band concert.

O.O

later, toony

zzzzzzzzz.

2008-04-09T20:40:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE! :D

i waited outside the house for 2 hours today.

and i actually managed to fall asleep while waiting.

and i had dreams.

bravo.

...

today wasn't particularly productive.

i just made my The Way Up To Heaven pages a whole lot messier with all sorts of scribblings.

i think i should make notes.

yeah i should.

...

that staircase used to mean something.

i used to look at it and smile.

but as i sat there today, i realised i felt nothing. no sadness, no joy, nothing.

yeah. i'm that indifferent now.

because i've got something far better in my present.

...

i think it's my insecurities speaking.

but i don't wish to go through the pain of realising that you may just like them more than us.

and i don't wish to go through the pain of realising you like them all better than me.

call me selfish. cos yeah, i know i am.

...

i hope this explains why i have such an obsession with stuffed toys, and why i always talk to them and all.

cos i've got no one else to talk to yo.

later, toony

lalala.

2008-04-08T19:37:00.002+08:00

after so many months.

and so many brain cells killed through worry.

I GOT THE RUNNING NOTES AT THE END OF IN ALL ITS GLORY!!!

BOO YAH!

but i still need to work with the alto a bit more. the C# didn't seem quite right after band prac.

haiz.

...

In All Its Glory.

if only i could play it well when Mr Yap was around.

the piece means so much to me... yet i know it should mean so much more.

2007 was a rough year, but at least school wasn't that bad. at least band pracs were something to look forward to.

2008... is going to be tougher. so much tougher.

if only...

...

oh my gosh I HATE CCH.

shit lah, like embarrassing me right? SAY SO LAH.

蔡昮佑 - Can You Hear Me

狂奔的速度在冲
没有谁能叫住我
所有旧的伤口
已不再疼痛

虽然手脚不能动
眼神里却全是嘶吼
i don't know i don't know
just get out my way yeah

can u hear me
听见了没
can you hear me don't wanna get like this
please set me free yeah

是否会有种冲动
都别管自己逃走
被捆绑的自由
不能再忍受

光听着脉搏跳动
就懂我多想要挣脱
just get out of my way yeah

can u hear me
听见了没
can you hear me don't wanna get like this
please set me free yeah

can u hear me
听见了没
can you hear me don't wanna get like this
please set me free yeah

can you hear me
don't wanna get like this
please set me free

later, toony

new friends.

2008-04-07T20:57:00.001+08:00

MANY MANY THANKS TO JAMIE FOR THE DEAR LITTLE PANDA WHOM I HAVE YET TO NAME.

:D

...

i think i'm going to screw up math tomorrow.

:(

later, toony

Sophie dear :)

2008-04-06T12:28:00.003+08:00

MY ICE-CREAM! MY DARN GOOD ICE-CREAM! :D

this is not a paid advertisement (though i do wish it was).

anyway, point is, it has my name on it :D

...

sectionals yesterday was awesome.

I GOT MY B40 AND A MASTERS LIGATURE!!!!!

so now just the mouthpiece part of my clarinet costs $180.

(i did that in my head, give me credit for that yeah?)

Sophie's getting ready to astound.

all that she needs now is for me to astound with her.

yeah man :)

later, toony

i feel it.

2008-04-05T18:14:00.004+08:00

i feel myself moving on more and more.

i'm now moving towards a new life.
one without you.
i don't know if it's a good thing, really.

...

sometimes i wish no one would read my blog.

sometimes there are really some stuff which i just can't bring myself to say.

but now as i think about it...

there's no time like the present yeah?

...

i wonder.

what would happen to the clarinet section '08 once the many handovers come and go?

would we still be as close as we are now?

will we still chat and chat and chat when we bump into each other somewhere out there?

the bond we share now, will time dilute it?

will you guys still remember it once you're gone?

will you guys still remember me?
cos i seriously love this section, but i'm just afraid no one shares my sentiments.

:)

later, toony

sport's day

2008-04-04T16:20:00.002+08:00

SO PROUD OF 2SY '08.

WE RULED YO!

and congrats to Debbie for being the best sports girl in our level for the SECOND YEAR RUNNING.

many thanks to Yu Han for winning 400m!

and and and our relay girls, Joanna, Wen Hui, Gen and Debbie! :D

SY OH-EM-GEE!

...

OOH OOH OOH BAND RELAY!

BAND *clap clap, clap clap* BAND *clap clap, clap clap* B-A-N-D BAND

:D

we got third ^^

...

i have loads of pictures

but the computer isn't cooperating, so i can't put a thing in -.-

T_T

...

i have a long long list of lovable people.

and i do wonder...

what will happen when we go our separate ways...
i'll be alone again.
i hope nothing happens to this damn strong bond we share.

CELESTE, FANN, AMELIA.

i love you guys :)

...

so tired.

can i not go for lesson later?

zzz

...

going to be the last event.

the next event after today would be handover already.

will i cry?

i have to wonder...

...

nice song!!

later, toony

spirit of the class.

2008-04-03T17:04:00.002+08:00

spirit of the class today.

so sure, we didn't get top three, but i think we did quite well :)

ooh yes, did i mention that i felt the spirit again today?

i love you 2SY '08 :D

...

today wasn't a good day.

History was boring, Science was screwed, we had to write a compo that's 25% of our CA grade for HMT, spelling bee during Lang Arts (THANK GOD I DIDN'T SCREW THAT UP :D), ALMOST had a short test during geog and that congruency and similarity test during math.

and some people just seem to enjoy pissing me off.

your lack of consideration is getting on my nerves.

didn't bring anything for break, wasted part of my recess looking for sec ones and used the rest for class cheer. rushed to be a pau before spirit of the class cos my stomach was starting to kill me.

tsk lack of food has majorly bad effects on my mood.

...

spirit of the class did cheer me up though.

which is why i say i love 2SY :)

who cares if we weren't top three, our spirit's thriving yo!

...

i predict that i will screw up Geog CA.

and i officially screwed up Lang Arts.

so basically.

i'm screwed.

awesome.

...

congrats CO :D

i think you guys deserved it ^^

...

i wasn't feeling good today.

sorry guys...

...

i have the same register number as Lynn.

how random.

...

i stared at my desktop wallpaper just now.

and i smiled.

whether or not you care, know or whatever

i love you guys(:

王力宏 - 爱的鼓励

太阳会出现
只要给一次机会
心情一飞冲天
带你的烦恼away

每一次在谷底跌倒
来一点高潮

baby想给你爱的鼓励
在你需要的时候加油打气
baby想给你爱的鼓励
雨后还能有彩虹别放弃

太阳出现了
感谢你给我机会
心情哼出来是一首歌
让你听的好甜美

每一次在谷底跌倒
来一点高潮

baby想给你爱的鼓励
在你需要的时候加油打气
baby想给你爱的鼓励
雨后还能有彩虹别放弃

每一次在谷底跌倒
来一点高潮

baby想给你爱的鼓励
在你需要的时候加油打气
baby想给你爱的鼓励
雨后还能有彩虹别放弃

baby想给你爱的鼓励
在你需要的时候加油打气
baby想给你爱的鼓励
雨后还能有彩虹别放弃

later, toony

swimming and prata

2008-04-01T21:11:00.002+08:00

swim relay.

i'm so damn sorry i helped you guys screw up the relay :(

but many thanks to Debbie and Liting for taking part in all three.

and Priscilla and Amanda for doing two.

and Jacq Chua for swimming so well! :D

2SY OH-EM-GEE!

lol, i love you guys :D

...

went for prata with Alyssa, Shu Xin, Lynn, Eunice and Claire after the relay.

nice and warm corner there, many thanks to Lynn.

certain jokes were cool, like the pink longan :D

and walking home was refreshing! and much faster than what i thought it would be.

should walk back home from CCAB more often ;)

...

on a side note.

AMELIA, FANN, I LOVE YOU TWO :D

thanks for being so retarded with me all the time :)

...

science test today drained whatever brain energy i had.

and it was so helpful in making me feel horrible for the rest of the day.

and made me pig out so badly during recess.

haiz............................................

...

i hope i didn't screw Science test up too badly.

cos i think i'll really cry lah...

was cramming like mad last night.

zzz...

i wish i had Jamie's fever.

then i wouldn't go to school tomorrow.

so brain dead!!

and i have so many appointments in just one one-hour long recess.

-.-

...

if you feel lost and on your own and far from home you're never alone, you know

Kenny Loggins - Your Heart Will Lead You Home

Sunny days and starry nights
Lazy afternoons
You count the castles in the clouds
And hum little tunes

But somehow right before your eyes
The sun fades away
Everything is different
And everything has changed

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone, you know

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there with love to share
And your heart will lead you home

Funny how a photograph
Can take you back in time
To places and embraces
That you thought you left behind

They're trying to remind you
That you're not the only one
That no one is an island
When all has said and done

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone, you know

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there with love to share
And your heart will lead you home

There'll come a day when you're losing your way
And you won't know where you belong
They say that home is where your heart is
So follow your heart know that you can't go wrong

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone, you know

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there with love to share
And your heart will lead you home

If you feel lost and on your own
And far from home
You're never alone, you know

Just think of your friends
The ones who care
They all will be waiting there with love to share
And your heart will lead you home

2SY

i love you(:

later, toony

2008-03-31T17:43:00.002+08:00

DAMN IT I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO SCREW UP THAT DAMNED SCIENCE TEST TOMORROW.

**** I'M SUCH A DAMNED IDIOT.

[edit]

you want me to have a choice for my subject combinations?

MAKE ME LAUGH.

what choice do i have?

screwed-in-the-making

2008-03-31T16:41:00.002+08:00

i'm going to screw up my Science test.

oh my gosh.

times like this, i wish i could cry.

...

yeah. just disappointed.

just really disappointed.

...

i better stop here.

...

i accidentally right-clicked in the class blog. what came out really took my breath away.

wishing.

...

it was only last night that i realised just how unworthy i am.

but i won't cry.

i know i posted the song before... but i really don't know what else to post today.

Rebecca St. James - Forgive Me

For all the times I’ve failed You, Lord
Forgive me
For all the ways I’ve fallen short
Lord, forgive me now

God, I’m so in need of grace
I fall upon my face
Forgive me

You see the tears fall down my face
Forgive me
Take my fear, Lord, take my shame
Lord, forgive me now

Purify me, make me new
Like only You can do
Forgive me now

Lord, we come to honor You
We are forgiven
We bring our love and thanks to You
We are forgiven now

God we praise You for Your grace
Before You we are raised
Forgiven

God we praise You for Your grace
Before You we are raised
Forgiven
Forgiven

later, toony

was i wrong?

2008-03-30T15:30:00.002+08:00

maybe.

just maybe.

...

cheer up.

it's better for your health.

both of you.

whether or not you read this...

later, toony

where can you run to escape from yourself?

2008-03-29T15:34:00.003+08:00

where can you run to escape from yourself?

argh.

sian she just scares me so much i don't dare to talk to her.

and yet she's so nice that i have to talk to her.

oh my gosh this is so stressful.

...

sent.

...

i wonder if it's my fault.

but forget it.

...

band was tiring today.

and i was getting overheated in my shirt.

and too much heat makes me super tired and cranky.

...

random stuff.

I LOVE YOU CELESTINE :D

...

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here

Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

later, toony

2008-03-28T22:58:00.002+08:00

so sleepy.

and i can't even rest over the weekends.

awesome.

many thanks, school.

...

feel like posting some randomly sad song.

Lea Salonga and Michael Ball (Eponine and Marius) - A Little Fall Of Rain

EPONINE
Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
You're here, that's all I need to know

And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
And rain will make the flowers grow

MARIUS
But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,
If I could heal your wounds with words of love

EPONINE
Just hold me now, and let it be
Shelter me, comfort me

MARIUS
You would live a hundred years
If I could show you how
I won't desert you now...

EPONINE
The rain can't hurt me now
This rain will wash away what's past
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
I'll sleep in your embrace at last

The rain that brings you here
Is Heaven-blessed!
The skies begin to clear
And I'm at rest
A breath away from where you are
I've come home from so far

So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
That's all I need to know

And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close

MARIUS(in counterpoint)
Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine,
You won't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt you now
I'm here
I will stay with you
Till you are sleeping

EPONINE
And rain...

MARIUSAnd rain...

EPONINE
Will make the flowers...

MARIUS
Will make the flowers... grow...

that last part where Eponine didn't sing the word grow, and Marius sang it alone, that's when Eponine died.

Les Miserables IS SUCH A SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD STORY!

later, toony

sian-ed.

2008-03-27T20:21:00.002+08:00

today.

wasn't a good day.

...

Sophie and Sophia.

i love them to BITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D

let's make miracles together kay dears?

Sophie, you sounded so much better when i used 3 1/2, so if it's 3 1/2 you want, it's 3 1/2 you'll get :D

don't worry Sophia, we'll play together again soon! i won't forget you my dear! :D

...

kay you may think i'm nuts...

but i LOVE my B flat and the alto clarinet.

:D

LOVELY SONG!

Dare To Run

later, toony

2008-03-25T20:41:00.003+08:00

LWV!

LITTLE WHITE VEGETABLE!

NO EMILY SHE'S NOT AN OCTOPUS!

later, toony

2008-03-23T14:45:00.002+08:00

no point fighting.

so... sleepy...............

oh my gosh i've slacked so much and now there's so much work to do.

O_O

...

and He rose again.

...

dare to run, with your eyes fixed on Jesus...

nice song...

later, toony

forget it.

2008-03-22T14:20:00.002+08:00

fine.

go ahead and just crush me completely.

i can't do anything about it anyway.

maybe i should have known from the start it wouldn't have worked out no matter what.

nothing i really want to do ever works out.

or at least, it goes on without me.

...

how i wish there MSN had status emo-ing.

music's more than something to colour the world.

so much more.

...

thank God i have it :)

...

GREEN HILLS IS REALLY A FANTASTIC PIECE.

and it's been a while since i just listened to band pieces and felt such peace.

love it :)

...

if anyone has In All Its Glory, do send it to me.

thanks! :D

the first piece on my playlist today is Centuria, an awesome piece.

enjoy!

later, toony

pretty things.

2008-03-21T18:31:00.002+08:00

and on the cross, He died.

just so that i may stand, forgiven.

even though i so obviously do not deserve it.

praise Him(:

In Christ Alone

later, toony

2SY FTW!!!

2008-03-20T19:05:00.002+08:00

2SY FTW!!!!!!!!!!!

for once in my life i see hope for class championship.

LET'S DO THIS SY.

great job Samy, Yu Han, Joanna, Priscilla, Jia and Debbie for heats today!

Y'ALL WERE SO AWESOME TODAY!!!

...

i'm proud of myself too.

i was SO TEMPTED to by donuts and puffs and whatnots but i didn't.

:D

...

kay that SO pales in comparison to what the runners did -.-

i'll train hard and do well for 2SY for swim relay!

...

i miss Sophie :(

and i miss Sophia too :(

...

OOOH YES

I GOT MY WALLET BACK!!!

THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

...

Good Friday tomorrow.

thank God for it.

thank God.

...

anyways, a song for Good Friday.

i don't like the video, but what to do...

Avalon - The Glory

screwed up tests

2008-03-19T18:19:00.002+08:00

i'm VERY sure i screwed up my Science test.

but whatever mans.

we're making ice-cream tomorrow! :D

and sports heats tomorrow too... darn have to skip sectionals.

damn it i can't find my wallet.

OH MY GOSH!

i'm so dead...

IF ANY KIND SOUL HAS FOUND A WALLET WITH BUTTERFLIES AND SMALL CRYSTALS IN IT PLEASE BRING IT TO THE POLICE STATION OR SCGS GENERAL OFFICE.

it has my ez-link card, very little money, library card, many nice nice notes and all..

and the wallet's important to me! it was my 13th birthday present...

please people, please be kind...

:((((

later, toony

2008-03-17T15:57:00.002+08:00

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing."

so please let us do things because we enjoy it.

even though so often i'm forced to do something i don't enjoy doing.

grr.

...

i've never been so late for school before!

i woke up late for school already mans.

and i'm still SUPER sleepy and tired.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i'm a ZHU!

Les Miserables seems like such a nice piece.

why does it seem so nice under Ms Leong?

odd.

later, toony

donuts love!

2008-03-15T20:43:00.003+08:00

DONUTS ARE SO GOOD!

why are the good stuff always unhealthy :(

zzz

...

nothing is ever what it seems.

i can only hope and pray that it's for the best.

that it wasn't a mistake.

stay strong, friend.

...

this week's drawing to a close.

hardly feels like a break.

but i still don't want to go back to school :(

haizzzzzzz

a short break, but a break nonetheless.

and so begins ten more weeks of yearning for term to end.

and then...

AUSTRIA TRIP!

oh my gosh can't wait :D

felt a sudden urge to post this song.

苏打绿 - 小情歌

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

later, toony

moving on.

2008-03-12T20:57:00.002+08:00

i changed my desktop wallpaper.

for the first time in two years, it's something apart from them.

and i realised i love the people featured in my wallpaper so much more than before.

yeah. i'm moving on.

feeling kinda guilty. feeling kinda happy. feeling kinda relieved.

i guess it's final.

yeah i guess it's final.

i'm gone.

finally free from my own prison cell.

finally :)

...

a proud member of the ZHU club :D

everyone be a ZHU provider please! :D

later, toony

band camp March '08

2008-03-11T18:45:00.006+08:00

band camp.

it didn't have a nice name like FUNdamentals had.

but nevertheless, just as good, maybe even better.

all that passion i've lost touch with for so long just came rushing back when i got home.

it's an exhausting feeling.

it's conflicting with my mind.

it hurts.

but now i know that no matter what, i'm never letting it go again.

never.

...

anyways, camp.

i'm proud of myself! my bag's growing smaller!

i hereby pledge to make my bag even smaller next camp :D

anyways, my group makes me feel old.

seven sec ones were far more managable than i thought.

and we did quite well! ^^

the sand castle that's slightly more than half Rachel's height (thanks to the stick :D)

an almost there group picture LOL.

this picture's just pretty lah.

me and Victoria, my AGL! i actually didn't look bad here! :D

me posing with the Carlsberg Sky Tower sign. totally fail lah, not even looking at the camera -.-

i think the people there must have thought we were super interesting. a whole group of strangers just came up and wanted to take a picture with us.

so much spare time, went down to candy empire and bought $2.65 worth of candy.

a tad ex, i'll say. tsk.

but i got free Ben & Jerry's ice-cream from the brown group!

THANKS LOADS!

even though it was super melted and stuff.

and while waiting, we shared jelly beans (OH MY GOSH Nikky spilt them ALL) and After Eights (MANY MANY MANY THANKS NIKKY!)

next, truth or dare.

i came up with the SICKEST dare for Victoria. so proud of myself :D

anyway, there was this group of friendly people, so we just kept going up to them while doing our dares.

we went to watch our movie, and i decided to sit with the juniors!

STEP UP 2 IS SO NICE! i think Moose is super funny :D

just like my juniors! giggling at the couple in front of us arh... lol.

they just kept me laughing all the way through the movie! they're SO cute! :D

took a really REALLY nice section photo after the movie. pity it's so dark...

but we took one back in the hall!

if anyone has a nicer one in the hall please send me kay! thanks :D

had a really really strong urge to play my clarinet. tsk how could they not allow T_T

never underestimate the power of ~~fann~~ fans. it was freezing that night lah.

many thanks to Jamie for lending me her jacket :D

even with the jacket, i think i got slightly less than 2 hours of sleep?

and many thanks to Fionna for being willing to share half her sleeping bag with me so i could be warmer :D

aaaaand SECTION BONDING!

bond until like that LOL.

(that's my leg by the way.)

but it was fun nonetheless. so hiong, SO FUN! :D

CLARINETS RULE MANS.

and of course, Lynn and water guns go GREAT together :D

spring cleaning. we had to clean chairs.

and now that whole idea just sounds ridiculous to me :D

chairs before cleaning...

during cleaning...

chairs after cleaning were gone before i could take a picture.

we finished slightly before everyone else, so, with nothing to do...

SOME seniors...

DEAREST LITTLE clarinet juniors!

Clarissa, no need be scared of taking photos de, if you look unglam everyone looks unglam with you :D

LEVELMATES! :D

great camp :)

many thanks to Amanda and Brenda for being in charge of this great camp!

many thanks to Georgina and Victoria for being a great GL and AGL respectively!

many thanks to Lynn for being so kind as to let us COMPLETELY drench her (even though she did run a lot.)

many thanks to Eunice for helping us drench Lynn!

many thanks to juniors for being so guai and cute and funny (Zi Ying couldn't find the head in the band t-shirt lol)

many thanks to seniors for being so able to amuse us!

many thanks to SC Band for giving me such a great CCA :)

i love you SC Band!

i love you SC Clarinets :D

and now...

a nice refreshing coconut! :D

五月天 - 天使

你就是我的天使

保护著我的天使

从此我再没有忧伤

你就是我的天使

给我快乐的天使

甚至我学会了飞翔

飞过人间的无常

才懂爱才是宝藏

不管世界变得怎麼样

只要有你就会是天堂

像孩子依赖著肩膀

像眼泪依赖著脸庞

你就像天使一样

给我依赖给我力量

像诗人依赖著月亮

像海豚依赖海洋

你是天使你是天使

你是我最初和最後的天堂

你就是我的天使

保护著我的天使

从此我再没有忧伤

你就是我的天使

给我快乐的天使

甚至我学会了飞翔

飞过人间的无常

才懂爱才是宝藏

不管世界变得怎麼样

只要有你就会是天堂

像孩子依赖著肩膀

像眼泪依赖著脸庞

你就像天使一样

给我依赖给我力量

像诗人依赖著月亮

像海豚依赖海洋

你是天使你是天使

你是我最初和最後的天堂

像孩子依赖著肩膀

像眼泪依赖著脸庞

你就像天使一样

给我依赖给我力量

像诗人依赖著月亮

像海豚依赖海洋

你是天使你是天使

你是我最初和最後的天堂

像孩子依赖著肩膀

像眼泪依赖著脸庞

你就像天使一样

给我依赖给我力量

像诗人依赖著月亮

像海豚依赖海洋

你是天使你是天使

你是我最初和最後的天堂

later, toony

save you

2008-03-08T18:06:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish i could save you.

...

seems like i've just been way too preoccupied with my own troubles to see others more in need of help.

i've got to change.

i've always had people there for me... but so many people out there don't.

i don't know if i'll be able to do much.

but i'll just be there.

cos everyone should have someone to lean on in times of need.

dear friend,

stay happy always!

smile!

i love you!

later, toony

it's fear.

2008-03-07T15:18:00.002+08:00

it's not respect that keeps us in line.

it's fear.

and no, it's not right.

...

some people might be unable to distinguish between fear and respect.

so i shall define it right now.

i respected Ms Heng.

i respected Mr Yap.

i respect Ms Leong.

i respect Ms Hing.

i respect Shannon.

i respect Dee.

i respect SC Band.

i respect SC Clarinets.

i respect 2SY '08.

and i respect this school.

...

why?

they earned it.

and they didn't make me fear them for it.

later, toony

haiya...

2008-03-06T18:38:00.002+08:00

MCYS.

like seriously lah! i really REALLY don't like him kay!

i want something to change!

oh mans...

...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYSSA!

seeing as my ideas have been used so many times, i'll just do cliche stuff like this -.-

...

CS was a waste of time as usual today.

but the alto's warming up to me!

but it still freaks me out sometimes when i have to play alone.

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE CLARINET 1 IS A VERY NICE PART!!

but of course, i'm on the alto, so never mind, it's being nice ^^

if only the alto would just breathe. then it won't be such a stuffy instrument.

QINGYI'S CLARINET IS SO FRIENDLY!

i like :D

...

tsk why do i always like her clarinets -.-

...

my first C...

OH MY GOSH!!!

T_T

i want straight A1s this year can...

:(

GAH!!!

...

Dee... Shannon... bring me back to camp with you please...

:(

赞美之泉 - 你的爱

祢创造宇宙万物
统管一切所有
但祢却关心我的需要
了解我的感受

祢手铺陈天上云彩
打造永恒国度
但这双手却甘心为我
忍受徹骨钉伤苦痛

祢公义审判万民
圣洁光照全地
但祢却一再赐恩典一再施怜悯
给我机会回转向祢

祢的爱如此温柔
超乎我心所想
这样大有能力的主
竟捧我在手掌心上

祢的爱如此深切
我知我无以报答
但愿倒空我的生命
学习祢谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十字架

祢创造宇宙万物
统管一切所有
但祢却关心我的需要
了解我的感受

祢手铺陈天上云彩
打造永恒国度
但这双手却甘心为我
忍受徹骨钉伤苦痛

祢公义审判万民
圣洁光照全地
但祢却一再赐恩典一再施怜悯
给我机会回转向祢

祢的爱如此温柔
超乎我心所想
这样大有能力的主
竟捧我在手掌心上

祢的爱如此深切
我知我无以报答
但愿倒空我的生命
学习祢谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十字架

祢的爱如此温柔
超乎我心所想
这样大有能力的主
竟捧我在手掌心上

祢的爱如此深切
我知我无以报答
但愿倒空我的生命
学习祢谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十字架

later, toony

how much do you expect me to take?

2008-03-03T16:24:00.002+08:00

i told myself not to cry.

told myself to just hang on.

i don't blame you for it.

it is my fault after all.

but i've said too many farewells too early, i've left so much behind, i've made too many mistakes, my heart's just too empty.

and the tears refused to stop.

...

tsk JI person makes everyone so scared now no one wants to go out with me T_T

i wanna go out and shop...

but i'm going out to have ice-cream with Priscilla on Wednesday :D

oh no OM.

haiz.

...

our class was super hyper and all today. still in the adventure camp mood.

2SY OUI!

give me one silent clap!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G SONG!

2SY! ARE. YOU. HUNGRY!

yeah mans ^^

Emily Lew and i were talking about what would happen if we bumped into Shannon/Dee at Orchard.

"Shannon... could you buy me that pair of topshop shoes? it costs $73... please?" *pitiful look*

...

SHANNON! DEE! you guys are all that 2SY can talk about now... be honoured :D

MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE!

...

yeah...

...

Simple Plan - Everytime

It was three AM
When you woke me up
And we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
Just to get away

We talked about our lives
Until the sun came up
And now I'm thinking about how I wish I could go back
Just for one more day

One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

Ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
It's all I need: one more day with you

When the car broke down
We just kept walking along
Til we hit this town there was nothing there at all
But that was all okay

We spent all our money
On stupid things
But if I looked back now, I'd probably give it all away
Just for one more day

One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

But ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
It's all I need: one more day with you

Now I'm sitting here
Like we used to do
I think about my life and how now there's nothing I won't do
Just for one more day

One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right (Everything feels right)

Everytime I hear your name
Everytime I feel the same
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

You walked away
Just one more day
It's all I need, just one more day with you

later, toony

such a far cry.

2008-03-02T20:56:00.003+08:00

i just wanna cry.

it's unbearable.

for Shannon and Dee

2008-03-02T10:59:00.003+08:00

for Shannon and Dee

even though they might never read this.

but if you do, go ahead and cry, i won't mind ;)

(please play the song before proceeding)

...

when we first got you guys, it really really was a common opinion that you guys were 'boring', 'sian' and 'not fun'.

but really, that completely changed as we were having icebreakers (odd that they call them icebreakers when you don't get to break any ice)

when you were calling out our names, i responded to LEEWEI but so many people said you left out NANCY. so i became known to you guys as Nancy.

the forfeit for our mother hen was super funny. Shannon actually poledanced for us LOL. i'll never ever EVER forget that.

small pole, medium pole or big pole. i think mother hen should have picked medium pole mans :D

and then, off we went to Changi. i was dreading it. like really dreading it. i didn't want to be cut off from civilisation, cut off from my phone and definitely not from my pandas :(

i really didn't bring in a single panda!

but you guys just kept having fun with us, laughing with/at us, encouraging us, talking to us, acting gay with us, bullying instructors with us etc.

you guys say we made you feel welcomed. i say you guys made me feel like MOE CCAC was home.

and for once our class felt like a real family, with you guys as our mum and dad (i'm still torn between deciding who's the mum and who's the dad)

here i assure you, it was with absolute sincerity when we said that we love you during our campfire performance.

debrief that night was really really saddening. even Priscilla (whom i've NEVER EVER seen cry during my whole four years of knowing her) cried. you guys made all the sunburns, the lack of personal hygiene, the sandy floors, the freezing nights worthwhile.

last day. everyone was super quiet, super shag, super stone, super sad. last day you'll be our instructors. last day we'll be able to see you (supposedly). all our lasts.

and you guys made the absolute best of it :)

you two made us laugh so so SO much when we got Shannon into a skirt (IT'S SICK AND WRONG but absolutely hilarious), you guys broke rules so we could stay in touch, you guys assured us that you'll remember us and will miss us like loads and loads.

i assure you, all those mass 2SY convos you haven't been a part of were devoted purely to discussing how we could accidentally bump into you guys during class outings and how much we missed you two and how much we wished we could go back and how to pass you our class shirt and how much we really really loved you two.

i know i didn't cry. you guys told us to leave happy, just as we went happy. so i smiled the best i could, and hoped you guys remember it.

Shannon, Dee, please please please remember me. cos i'll never ever forget you.

2SY loves you so SO much. 2SY misses you so SO much.

i give you guys a spot in that most precious corner of my heart. i'll always miss you guys. i'll always love you.

take care, instructors, take care.

later, toony

it's not goodbye.

2008-02-29T14:28:00.003+08:00

NEW BLOGGER'S FORMAT IS IRRITATING ME TO BITTTSSSSS.

irritating >:(

...

adventure camp...

was a total blast(:

Shannon and Dee are the best man!

much much much MUCH love :D

...

icebreakers. and we didn't get to break ice.

but we made two new friends.

Shannon and Dee :D

and i became officially known as Nancy Cheng LOL.

totally okay mans. totally okay.

we did water activities there, kayaking and dragon boating.

i was in the non-giving birth group for dragon boating lol.

water activities were really rather fun (mainly cos we were splashing each other with seawater and failing to splash the instructors)

totally conked out that night, so, unlike many many MANY others, i slept really really well.

day two was hot. like hot.

should have put on sunblock haiz...

now i'm sunburnt :(

oh wells, cooking maggi mee was rather fun :D

and delicious :D

and i'm glad that Dee got well, cos no one else would bully Shannon with us ;)

rock wall was not bad, just that i started freaking out the moment i felt the rope lifting me higher and higher.

but i made it :)

the general stations were for building teamwork, and i think it succeeded :D

the high elements, we only did the challenge pole. that's where you climb up this super super super high pole and then jump to catch the bar.

i stayed up there hesitating for a super super long time, until Jacq Chua and Jac Fong promised to shut the PTA down for me if i jumped.

and the best part? i caught that pole.

tsk wasted so much time :/

abseiling wasn't too bad. I WANNA DO THE ZIPLINE :(

odd. i wasn't freaked out by abseiling in P5, but i was kinda freaked out while standing up there. odd.

instructor Mark's from SJI! can you believe it!

and instructor Sky is so funny.

and of course, it's difficult to forget Shannon pole dancing LOL.

"... and all was bright and gay!"

"like me!"

campfire... was fun stuff.

zzz keep forgetting the lines :/

WE LOVE YOU INSTRUCTORS.

debrief was sad stuff.

Shannon and Dee, thank you for breaking the rules so that you could talk to us more :)

a lot of stuff... i really really want to say.

but words could never express the deep gratitude and love 2SY has for you guys.

you guys wanted us to leave happy.

the smile was for you guys.

remember it :)

...

what happens if you really want to cry, but you really really can't?

later, toony

maybe.

2008-02-20T18:08:00.002+08:00

played Pirates yesterday.

one of my favourite pieces. it's the first piece i played under Mr Yap. it's one of the only pieces i played under him.

i really would like to play Parade of the Bumbling Wooden Soldiers again.

those most beautiful memories :)

it's time to move on.

i shall be fuelled by my love for band, that desperate desire to bring the spirit of SC Band back, that deep reliance on music.

it's another chapter of my life closed. those times shall take that precious corner in my heart.

my happiest happiest memories.

i'll miss those times no doubt. but i'm ready to embrace the future.

and i'll do as much as i can to help others embrace it too.

thank you Mr Yap. SC Band loves and misses you loads and loads.

hope you're happy now.

...

I SAW THESE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL PANDA SHIRTS AT PULL AND BEAR TODAY.

but i couldn't buy it.

it's like $23.90!

someone buy it for me please...

...

最珍贵的角落 IS A VERY NICE ALBUM!!!

all Chinese christians reading this i STRONGLY encourage you to buy it if you don't already have it.

IT'S SO NICE!!!

...

oh my gosh Ceremonial's horrible.

which genius suggested we play it -.-

...

retail therapy really works!

i really want those shoes from Topshop...

if only it wasn't so darn ex.

:(

...

God's the best.

and by His great love i shall stop crying and i shall smile.

because He gave me a lovely smile.

thank You Father :)

赞美之泉 - 哀哭变为跳舞

耶和华，我的神啊，
我定意尊崇你；
你医治我，提拔我，
使我为有福的。

一宿虽有哭泣，早晨必欢呼，
因为耶和华的恩典乃是一生之久。

你已将我的哀哭变为跳舞，
脱去麻衣，披上喜乐。
我的灵不住声地歌颂赞美，
我的心永远称谢。

耶和华，我的神啊，

我定意尊崇你；

你医治我，提拔我，

使我为有福的。

一宿虽有哭泣，早晨必欢呼，

因为耶和华的恩典乃是一生之久。

你已将我的哀哭变为跳舞，

脱去麻衣，披上喜乐。

我的灵不住声地歌颂赞美，

我的心永远称谢。

people, if you can't appreciate this song it's your problem.

you don't know what you're missing out on.

no love here.

2008-02-18T19:59:00.002+08:00

SIMPLE PLAN'S LATEST ALBUM IS SUPER SUPER NICE.

for those of you who won't get affected by the ultra sad songs, i do suggest you go and buy the album now.

they're really really REALLY good.

...

i smile.

cos i know i can't cry.

...

I NEED RETAIL THERAPY!!!!!

someone please go out with me...

...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA!

you're one of the lucky people whom i wish happy birthday to on my blog :D

but it's not like you're going to read it anyway -.-

...

it looks so bleak now.

it hurts. it really hurts.

do i have a strong treshold of pain?

cos i have absolutely no idea.
screw those irritating mosquitos.
...

after i ran today, my stomach hurt like MAD.

is it cos i didn't have breakfast?

and after running i just felt so super sick.

haiz i'm unfit :(

...

there's only hate, there's only tears. there's only pain, there is no love here.

maybe that's why everything feels so wrong now.

Simple Plan - No Love

Staring out into the world across the street
You hate the way your life turned out to be
He's pulling up in the driveway and you don't make a sound
Cause you always learned to hold the things you want to say
You're always gonna be afraid

There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here

Oh, so what will you do?

There's only lies
There's only fears
There's only pain
There is no love here

Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces
You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile
If these walls could talk they would have so much to say
Cause everytime you fight the scars are gonna heal
But they're never gonna go away

There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here

Oh, so what will you do?

There's only lies
There's only fears
There's only pain
There is no love here

So what will you do?

You're falling
You're screaming
You're stuck in the same old nightmare

He's lying
You're crying
There's nothing left to salvage

Kick the door cause this is over
Get me out of here

Woaooh
Kick the door

There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here

Oh, so what will you do?

There's only lies
There's only fears
There's only pain
There is no love here

Tell me what will you do?

There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here

later, toony

i'm not alone.

2008-02-17T16:04:00.003+08:00

it's nice to know... i'm not the only one who misses it so much.

it's nice to know... i'm not the only one going through it.

it's nice to know... i'm not the only one who still wants that spirit back.

...

SYF last year was magical.

heck care that silver. the music was wonderful to me.

guarding the instruments with Fann was something special too lol.

i remember doing that "security guard thing", walking in opposite directions in front of the instruments.

the bus back was great. really great. it was the first time i've ever seen seniors making so much noise despite the obvious disappointment.

it was the first time i've ever seen any CCA so bonded.

Sports Day was just a repitition of that. they started singing/yelling out SYF pieces at the top of their voices.

things after that went so smooth. we had lovely conductors, lovely seniors, whatever the rest of the school felt about our silver just didn't help in destroying that faith and that... passion?

i never loved music when i was a kid. music was just... for fun. just a bunch of notes on paper. i strived to do well because i just liked doing well.

it was band that changed that mentality.

music became my refuge. when i played, everything else just faded away. tears, pain, stress, whatever... i just forgot it.

SC Band, thank you for all you've done for me.

but you're changing now.

and i miss the old SC Band. i miss her very much.

but there's no way... no way to get her back.

later, toony

OH MY GOSH ****

2008-02-16T16:15:00.002+08:00

oh mans...

life's so stressful now.

emotional overspill.

times when becoming better was an enjoyable process is now over.

we're entering times when we have to become good, whether we like it or not.

but adults always, ALWAYS forget one thing.

the more they ask a teenager to do something, the less that teenager will want to do it.

so what's the point? what's the point of topping the whole nation when you didn't enjoy it?

it's not the destination that matters, it's the journey that counts.

so if we hate the journey, the destination would just be pure hypocrisy. hate and anger fused together beneath it's superficial beauty. tears, sacrifices, heartbreaks.

what's the point?

it's not worth it. and i think that's something Ms Heng understood and appreciated.

五月天 - 抓狂

我要飞而你却像
埋葬梦想的高墙
我要跳而你却像
地心引力那么强

很不爽我很不爽
不要让我更不爽
快抓狂我快抓狂
不要搞不清状况

我要飞而你却像
埋葬梦想的高墙
我要跳而你却像
地心引力那么强

是你让大气圈缺氧
是你把天堂弄脏
是你把地球变成
我的战场(快抓狂快抓狂)

是火药装满心脏
是血管装满岩浆
呼吸也不能呼吸
呼吸呼吸(快抓狂快抓狂)

要怎样不然你想要怎样
要怎样我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁看谁先让谁投降
谁怕谁谁叫你要让我抓狂

恨是火愤怒是钢
我是沸腾的胆量
为什么要生存在
天使坠落的地方

很不爽我很不爽
不要让我更不爽
快抓狂我快抓狂
不要搞不清状况

是你让大气圈缺氧
是你把天堂弄脏
是你把地球变成
我的战场(快抓狂快抓狂)

是火药装满心脏
是血管装满岩浆
呼吸也不能呼吸
呼吸呼吸(快抓狂快抓狂)

要怎样不然你想要怎样
要怎样我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁看谁先让谁投降
谁怕谁谁叫你要让我抓狂

要怎样不然你想要怎样
要怎样我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁看谁先让谁投降
谁怕谁谁叫你要让我抓狂

是你让大气圈缺氧
是你把天堂弄脏
是你把地球变成
我的战场(快抓狂快抓狂)

是火药装满心脏
是血管装满岩浆
呼吸也不能呼吸
呼吸呼吸(快抓狂快抓狂)

要怎样不然你想要怎样
要怎样我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁看谁先让谁投降
谁怕谁谁叫你要让我抓狂

要怎样不然你想要怎样
要怎样我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁看谁先让谁投降
谁怕谁谁叫你要让我抓狂

要怎样不然你想要怎样
要怎样我们现在就明讲
谁怕谁看谁先让谁投降
谁怕谁谁叫你要让我抓狂
抓狂

later, toony

absolutely nothing at all.

2008-02-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

there's nothing left for me.

nothing.

free (rare) afternoons

2008-02-14T16:18:00.002+08:00

so unused to free afternoons.

they're for catching up on stuff apart from school stuff, eg chores, piano etc.

and yucks why's that darn proposal due so quickly!!

...

ah Valentine's Day. it's finally here. and it's finally O-V-E-R.

no more Valentine's Day comm. less stress, less responsibility, more free time.

but it's been a meaningful while :)

...

ah i've been getting up so early lately! (6.15!!!)

i need more sleep.

zzz

...

REALLY NICE SONG!!

Hayden Panettiere - I Still Believe

oh mans i want to watch the movie!!

but have to discuss OM tonight.

haiz...

later, toony

mercy saw me

2008-02-13T18:21:00.002+08:00

Beautiful
That's how mercy saw me
Though I was broken and so lost
Mercy looked past all my faults

Justice of God saw what I had done
But mercy saw me through the Son
Not what I was, but what I could be,
That's how mercy saw me

Not what I was, but what I could be
That's how Jesus saw me

...

beautiful song(:

...

YES Valentine's Day is almost over. after that, i shall have other things to stress/ freak out over.

but at least the biggest most major thing will be over.

maybe next time i'll handle stress better. *nods*

...

OM!!

hmm...

...

crying really is good for you.

don't be afraid to let it all out.

...

seriously, what's wrong with me nowadays.

haiz...

...

oh man. what am i doing online.

later, toony